It took me a long time to be able to express my emotions exactly how I felt. I would get angry and not know what to do or say. Eventually, I got used to bottling my feelings up. And although it started because I didn’t know how to express myself, I started getting compliments like “You’re so calm”, “You’re so cool even when you’re angry,” and I just got stuck with that facade of calmness.
If you can relate to what I’m talking about, you need to understand what you’re doing. It’s crucial to know if you’re being real or just riding on the accolades of people. The latter only means you’re in the calm before the storm. That calm period will end anytime soon because, in all honesty, that’s not who you are. You’re only wearing a mask that has been woven by the “comments” of people.
And it’s also making you invalidate your feelings to make people feel okay and while that happens, yours get bottled up. “Okay, but I will still be that humble, charming….” Trust me, it’s only a matter of time until you explode (the storm). And after you do, the only thing they would see on your forehead is “monster”.
I remember the very first time I couldn’t contain my anger. "Is that how you are?", "Ohh you are not good at all" were on the lips of the same people who showered praises on me for being "calm." Don’t forget it takes that one bad out of 99 good to be seen as the devil.
*Are you telling me to get angry and be throwing things around?* Get angry? Yes. Throw things around? No. Don't forget there are always braver and better ways to express how you feel. The whole point of this post is to let you know your emotions are very valid and make sure you express them whenever you feel them.
People say they choose not to show emotions for their own peace of mind. But is it still called peace of mind when that emotion keeps eating into your brain and even your heart? Causing you anxiety and even depression? Come on. It is important for people to also know how you really feel about certain situations, especially when they concern you.
Images are mine