I was in the church one day when our pastor was preaching about forgiveness. He said it is mandatory to forgive and forget whatever grudges you have against your fellow. This is the fact, but then the two can go hand in hand, and when one is missing, the other cannot stand.
Ketut Subiyanto
This was supposed to work out this way, but with the kind of world and the kind of heart humans have, it won't be easy to keep the two. Forgiveness is just the simplest of the two words; the other, which is “to forget,” does not come so easily. It takes the grace of God for one to forget the past.
My husband told me a story after seeing a mark on the lower part of his eyes. He said it happened years back, and with the mark in him, he can never forget what his stepmum did to him. Although, according to him, he had forgiven her from his heart, seeing the mark daily cannot make him forget the past. It happened when he sent his half-brother a message to buy him something from a customer. His mum happened to overhear their conversation and came out. She said her son is going nowhere. It was a tug of war between him and the stepmom, but he never touched her. The reason is just that he detests touching a woman, not when that woman is his stepmom. He matched directly to his dad and informed him of what had happened. With anger, he walked in and threw the Torchlight at her. Although she bent her head, and instead of letting go, she took the Torchlight and hit it on my husband's head. Yet, he did not do anything rash. Just let go, but then she had inflicted a mark that cannot be erased for life. Although my husband said he had forgiven her, such can never be forgotten.
I'm pretty sure that this is or has happened to most people today. Imagine someone taking the life of another person who is the only child of that person. What do you think would become of such a fellow? Will she turn out to forgive or forget what had happened? It is something that cannot be forgotten even after being forgiven. Seeing that fellow will raise that injury or memory back to life. This is why I'm saying that even though we were taught in Christendom to do the two, we as humans still cannot stand the chance to manage it. We will still hold a grudge against such a fellow.
On normal ground, it is possible to forgive, but to forget is not that easy.
One thing I have come to learn in life is that, when you forgive without forgetting in most trivial cases, it turns out to come back to reality. What I meant is that when you remember what someone had done to you in the past, you will have the mind to go back to retaliation even after forgiveness. So, the best is to either stay away from such a person or, better still, forget what happened. Although it is not possible anyway.
Not forgetting would most times hurt our feelings. This is why the Bible tells us to forgive and forget. Although even when such a person is still dining with you, you can still try to forget the past. Most times, one can forget, but this will take longer to heal from such occurrences.