Without the burden of resentment

Throughout my life, I have learned that one of the heaviest burdens we carry is our emotional baggage. When I have been negatively affected emotionally, it has been an uphill battle to live freely. One of the things that has affected me greatly and attacked my emotions is my relationship with my sister.  To give you some context, I am the oldest of four siblings. My younger sister is ten years younger than me, a whole decade. When she was born, she became my real-life doll. I have loved her dearly since the first day she came home, and from then on, my love for her grew by leaps and bounds. Her first words, her first steps, the start of school—all of these stages were so beautiful to me. My sister's childhood is one of the events I remember most fondly. However, when she entered adolescence, my sister no longer wanted to be with me, and the situation worsened when I went through a period of depression that tacitly affected her greatly, to the point that she began to feel aversion towards me, as her brain associated my existence with suffering. This caused her to distance herself from me, even after she reached adulthood. My sister did many things that hurt me. Suddenly, the most special person in my life excluded me from hers, and even though there was a scientific explanation for everything, I couldn't stop feeling pain. It is extremely sad to know that a person you love so much because she spent the first twelve years of her life by your side, playing and living a happy childhood, no longer wants to be with you. At first, I understood that it was because of adolescence and all the discomfort that comes with it. I justified her behavior and her lack of love for me, but seeing her now as a woman and continuing to reject me so much tore my heart apart to the point that I no longer wanted to be around her because she hurt me over and over again with her actions, whether intentional or not, but the result was the same. An emotional storm 😔  For years I lived with a lot of resentment until I realized that this was hurting me more than I imagined. I started treating her differently than I used to, I was indifferent to her, but this hurt me too much because the truth is that I love my sister 💗, so I tried hard to accept that I couldn't continue treating her differently than I had for years, and although it was quite an odyssey to continue being myself, remaining true to my essence and treating her well, I succeeded. ❤️ It didn't happen overnight. It was something I worked on for a long time, and although there are still repercussions from the past, I can proudly say that I left that baggage full of resentment behind and it faded away. Despite everything, my sister has improved a lot with me, and although she is not as close to me as I would like, she has shown me that she loves me because in difficult moments that have nothing to do with her, she has been there to offer me her support. She loves me too, just in her own way, and I have learned to respect that.  There is nothing better than continuing to be myself despite the vicissitudes that attack my emotions.   All photos are my property and were taken with a Realme 7i.