There are times of the day that I just ran out of fucks to give and the phenomenon is called:
Compassion Fatigue
is the emotional, physical, and psychological exhaustion caused by prolonged exposure to the trauma and suffering of others, particularly in caregiving professions.
Source: Google the keyword and the browser gives you an AI summary about the phenomenon.
I'm not going to go academic speech and explain the phenomenon in detail because the AI summary from the search does a better job at it. What I'm posting about is just a personal experience with it.
How is this different from just being someone your significant other or a stranger lending an ear to listen to someone else's problem?
I think the key difference lies in where you're put in a situation where you are expected to care and it's not easy to get out of it so you just keep on grinding until you wear yourself out.
I say put in a situation that you are expected to care like being paid to be present (cause it's your job), or being that significant other for someone so you became their safe space. And it comes with several measures in place to make it difficult for your to dissociate from where you are.
Another close term for this is burn out but more focused on the caring and compassion part. I understand that people come in to trauma dump and seek validation but in their point of you, it's only you receiving their backstory. From your point of view, you've heard and seen this story played out similar times with different characters and spin offs.
I know depression, anxiety, trauma, and psychosis plays out different for people but most exhibit the same symptomatology that it sometimes become very tempting to just say "so you're depressed because this and that and you have these symptoms cause of this and that..." as much as people don't want to hear that their woes fall into text book category, there's a reason why DSM 5 manual was made to be objective about calling the right diagnosis.
Anyway, it's the process of being in the moment while struggling to find your momentum to stay present while tired. I know after a few consults of the nth time within the day I can lose a smile and that's not the patient's fault. It just so happens that several patients that came before took out some chunks of my social battery.
I think people who criticize the poor provision of mental health care need to understand that this job isn't easy. I bet most people couldn't handle listening to a few strangers personal trauma dumps in a day and some stories can be visceral. This is why there's a lack of mental health care personnel available, the job's nature isn't for everybody. Heck, even an average person can tap out anytime from their own drama with others.
But going back to compassion fatigue. It's not that I lost the love for my job, I'm just finding myself more tired than usual so I set out to plot a week long vacation next month. Why? because it's mandatory and I don't get paid if I don't use them. I'd probably stick to my workaholic routine if these leaves could be monetized.
If you are forced to care for someone in need but get burned out and there are several not so easy steps to get out of that situation, you're likely going to have compassion fatigue.
Thanks for your time.