I don’t know when we all became obsessed with arguing over literally everything, but here we are. You say you like pineapple on pizza, and suddenly you’re in a courtroom defending your life choices. You post that you enjoy naps? People act like you just insulted their grandmother.
Here’s what I say now when someone starts gearing up to debate me over something that isn’t life-or-death:
“It’s not a debate.”
It’s short. It’s clear. It saves me from 20 minutes of mental gymnastics.
Like the other day — I said I prefer cats over dogs. You would’ve thought I insulted every golden retriever on Earth. “But dogs are loyal!” “But cats are selfish!” Okay… but I didn’t ask. I just said what I like. So I said it again, slowly this time: “It’s not a debate.”
I’ve used it at work too. Someone asked why I drink instant coffee when there’s some fancy pour-over setup in the kitchen. I wasn’t trying to trigger anyone — I just like what I like. Instead of getting into a taste profile comparison, I just smiled and said, “Not a debate.” End of conversation. Back to emails.
Sometimes it feels like people don’t even want to connect — they just want to win. But not everything has to be a fight. Not every opinion is an invitation for debate. Sometimes, it’s just… a thought. A preference. A vibe.
So if you’re tired of being dragged into debates you didn’t sign up for, give it a try. Next time someone starts going off about why you’re wrong for liking something harmless?
Look them in the eye. Take a breath. And say it: “It’s not a debate.”
Then go on with your day in peace.