I may not be a parent yet, but I have younger sisters, nieces, and nephews, and from my experiences with them, I’ve realized how important the question of privacy really is when it comes to children. Watching them grow has given me a front-row seat to how kids change as they move from childhood into adolescence. It has also shown me how tricky it can be to decide how much freedom and personal space they actually need.
When children are still very young, it is natural to operate with what I would call an “open-doors” policy. At that stage, everything about their lives feels like it should be in plain view. They need constant guidance, supervision, and correction. You can’t simply leave them to themselves because they are still learning about boundaries, safety, and right from wrong. In those early years, privacy is not as important as protection.
But as they grow older, I have noticed that things change. My younger sisters, for example, have started valuing their personal space a lot more than when they were little. Sometimes they want to close their doors, have private conversations with friends, or even just spend quiet time alone. My nephews and nieces are the same. At first, it can feel like they are pushing people away, but in reality, it’s just part of growing up. They are developing their own sense of self and identity, and privacy becomes part of how they learn independence.
The real challenge is finding the right balance. Too much supervision can feel suffocating, but too much freedom can leave them exposed to mistakes they are not yet ready to handle. I’ve come to see that there isn’t a specific age where you suddenly hand children full privacy. It’s more of a gradual process, depending on how responsible and mature they show themselves to be.
For instance, you can start small by allowing them alone time in their rooms but still checking in from time to time. As they show more responsibility, you can give them more freedom in their conversations, social lives, or even how they handle personal belongings. The key is to create a relationship where they feel trusted and respected, while also knowing they can turn to you when they need help.
From what I’ve seen with my younger family members, privacy is not really about keeping secrets,it’s about growth. It’s about letting them test their independence while still having a safety net. The wrong approach would be either complete control or complete withdrawal. The right approach, I believe, is balance: gradual freedom, open communication, and trust.
Even though I’m not a parent yet, my experience with siblings, nieces, and nephews has made me realize that giving kids privacy is not about stepping away, but about preparing them to become confident and responsible individuals who can handle life on their own.