If only my brain would light up like this
"My brain is not braining", I have been saying to myself for over a month now. It just feels like I have lost it. That creative spark and the zeal to write something creative or educational. It feels like someone just used some magic spell to suck all of my creativity and zeal away. I am bewildered by how quickly things have changed.
I still remember the old days when this was like a fun game to me. The thrill of racing against time to create something out of thin air before it reaches 0:00 UTC time. I called it "JIT", which stands for "Just in time". I am currently doing something similar to try to ignite the flame, but it just doesn't feel the same. I really miss the old me. This would have been a piece of cake for him. But right now, all I can think about is how exhausted I am, both physically and mentally, and I want the day to end.
I decided I can't let another day pass without at least trying to pour out something creative. And yeah, that is what I am trying to do right now.
I am of the opinion that just using your natural voice in your mind and documenting your thoughts is creativity in its own way. However, I must admit that I do not feel even in the slightest bit creative at the moment.
What really is creativity? A beautiful artwork, a well crafted story with the best hook, body and ending, a beautiful poem, good music, all of these things are subjective. Who's to say that my ramblings could prove cathartic to a fellow soul who is going through the exact same thing as me? That is the only reason I allowed myself to ramble tonight. Just spill all the random mumbo jumbo that comes to mind, maybe that will happen, or maybe I can just get rid of the block that comes with not writing for so long and ignite that creative spark once more. Maybe this is it, the nonsense that gives me the courage to write better things in the future. I honestly don't know, and it doesn't feel that way at the moment, but hey, at least I tried. Sometimes, trying is all we can do. And one thing I have learnt about myself is that I find it hard to give up. This is what has kept me here for so long. I can't make any promises, but I'll keep trying (and of course I'll actually be creative). See you when I see you.
THANKS FOR PLAYING
cover image taken by me