Where do I begin? Been staring at my screen since the week began, trying to find my voice and get my creative juices flowing
The above statement was written last month and took me weeks to even string together. That shows how powerful my writer's block was at the time. Then to make matters worse my phone was stolen and from there it was all downhill. Unmotivated, tired, just general heaviness. I still had my PC (which is what I use to write btw), but I didn't use it. Just did basically nothing except the usual, go to work and back, and go to work and back, and repeat the cycle again. I knew I was stuck in the rut. Anyways, I finally found a way to push myself to read a book.
Not sure how I came across the book, but I can say that it was what I needed in the moment. Its a book for creatives and how to find inspiration. And in the moment that was exactly what I needed, inspiration not just to write but to survive. Because I like to think as a creative I survive on inspiration and motivation.
One of the many concepts from the book that I tried and enjoyed was writing some of my random ideas with pen and paper as soon as they land. So... since I'm still in somewhat of a dry spell when it comes to writing I decided I may as well just splurge some of the random unfiltered ideas that spurned in my head at the time. After all my hive blog is my canvas, and a reflection of how I've grown over the years. It's why I can't seem to leave. Here goes:
It feels like I've been in this situation far too much, somehow I find a way to escape, but each time I escape when I do inevitably fall back it feels like maybe this time I can't do it again, maybe I have run out of steam, maybe I'm just not cut out for this.
And of course there's the need to hide it, because I don't want to seem depressed. I don't even know or think that I am depressed, but the pity, the pity from others is something that I do not want or need. What I do want and probably need, is a very tight and long hug from...
I started writing with a pen and paper before typing because I read somewhere it helps with the creative process, and although my handwriting looks like shit (because I'm just scribbling without care) I must admit that it is kinda fun.
The rain has been my enemy this last month, it always finds a way to taunt me. Every single time I want to go outside and play it rains. When I am too busy to have fun it doesn't. It pisses me off so much. On some days I would find excuses not to go to work just so I can play in the evening, and you just know after three consecutive days of mild to no rain that the skies will burst open and shed their mocking tears. It is happening again today, how pathetic. I dislike this rainy season.
Its crazy how I feel like a pauper in web3, but in real life (web2) people hail me like I have money. I can't even tell a web2 person I lost over 100 dollars in a single trade, it'll be like the end of the world. But some of my web3 friends will understand that it's all a part of the game and that I'll make it back easy.
I think my brain is trying to get used to mediocrity and it fucking hurts. I will not allow it. I need to be better.
My phone got whisked away, it happened in the early hours of the morning My phone got whished away, I feel like my heart got stolen My phone got whisked away, how exactly did it happen? My phone got whisked away, now I feel so clueless My phone got whisked away, I wish I had been smarter My phone got whisked away, sorry for my silence My phone got whisked away, now I'm disconnected what do I do?
These are just a few of the random thoughts I wrote down. Will probably use the others down the line to write other things. The reason I titled the post "Schizo scribbles" is because of how terrible my handwriting looked lol. Hope you enjoyed taking a little peek into my mind
THANKS FOR PLAYING
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