You know how people say, “Be yourself and they’ll love you”? Well, that’s a nice quote until you realize your “self” is a walking disaster. This week’s Comedy Club House prompt took me right back to the most embarrassing day of my life the day I tried to impress my crush and failed so badly that even my ancestors felt the shame.
Let me set the stage. I was in my early twenties, looking cute in my red top, skinny jeans, and the confidence of a woman who had just watched three YouTube videos on “How to Flirt Without Looking Desperate.” My crush, Tobi, was the type of guy who made every girl’s heart skip, tall, charming, and could smile you straight into bad decisions.
We were at a friend’s small get together. Music playing, people chatting, snacks everywhere. I saw Tobi standing alone by the snacks table, and I thought, This is my moment. My plan? Casually walk over, grab a drink like I’m in a movie, say something clever, and walk away with his heart (or at least his number).
But oh no, life had other plans.
I strutted across the room like I was on a runway. I even flicked my hair for extra effect. But just as I reached him, my heel caught on the edge of the carpet. I didn’t just stumble, I performed a full Olympic dive… into the snack table.
The table shook, cups flew, and a whole plate of samosas decided to take a ride down my shirt. People gasped. Someone even shouted, “Jesus is Lord!” Tobi? He stood there frozen, holding his drink, watching me wrestle with chicken wings and puff-puff like I was auditioning for a cooking show.
I thought it couldn’t get worse. Then my phone, which was in my back pocket, started playing music, loud music. Somehow, my fall had activated my playlist, and of all the songs it could have picked, it started blaring “Who Let the Dogs Out?” as I was still on the floor.
I wanted the ground to open and swallow me… but the ground was clearly enjoying the show.
How did I recover? Well, I decided to own it. I stood up, pulled a samosa out of my shirt like it was a magic trick, took a dramatic bite, and said, “Well… at least the snacks like me.” The whole room burst into laughter, including Tobi. He even helped me clean up, though I’m pretty sure he’ll always remember me as “the girl who fell for him… literally.”
Did I win his heart? No. But I won something better, a legendary story that still makes my friends laugh years later. And hey, if you can’t impress your crush, at least give them a memory they’ll never forget.
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