The strikes are over. Finally. Another time of crisis has passed, and we made it through. Time to clear the shambles and get on with it – but how? Crisis are always an opportunity, both the time in the middle as well as the aftermath. An opportunity to either grow together, or to fall apart. Create community or fall into individualism.
I choose community. Over and over. It’s a lot of work. Building community is different than socializing. I was always great at the latter, but it took me a long time before I was able to understand what a community is, or should be. To even get to the point where I was able to work on building community, I had to work on myself to get into the right space to be positive for community.
It takes a lot of consideration, some empathy and the ability to put the needs of the community above one’s own wants. That alone is something that many people are not able to do anymore. Individualism has infested us, as capitalism is an individualist ideology and has conquered everything. But that’s not important right now. Okay, yes, it is, it’s always important. But not part of the story.
One of the most important skills in life and for community is very underestimated – listening. I always considered myself quite smart, and studied, and overall a chap that has very intelligent things to say. Listening, that was only to catch the other’s argument and then smash them into the ground, go all intellectual Hulk-Mode on them. It wasn’t listening, it was finding the other’s weakness and conquering them.
Two days ago, I sat down with an old friend of mine. We talked about our situation during the strikes, how we see the world differently, how we handle emotions. At the end, he told me – “Thank you for listening so carefully.” Though we don’t see eye to eye on many things, we had the most pleasant exchange of words, after I had written a long article, formulating my frustration, desperation and fears in the last days of the strike. He had written the most beautiful answer to it. It was then that I realized that I had become a real listener, and my life is the better for it.
Listening is not only listening and processing words. It’s also accepting the other as another being, in their wholeness, giving importance to everything they say or write. It requires more than consideration, but empathy. And both are essential in communities.
Remember 2020? Everyone was scared out of their minds. We have so many expats here that don’t even speak Spanish, all elder, all in the risk group. I was not, far from it. People knew me, trusted me. So I helped. I didn’t drop what I was doing, but beside my regular work, I did shopping. Deliveries. Channeled thousands of USD of donations to get to the people most in need during those months of harsh lockdowns in Ecuador (2pm – 6am lockdown). As a baker, I had a permit to drive and deliver and do whatever at any time of the day, and organizing the preparation and delivery of food to hospitals, police and military certainly helped with being able to move around freely.
I even fed a dog. Bear was a street dog, beautiful beast, very old for a street dog, the best friend of one of my best friends, JM. He had organized for Bear to be fed vitamins and pain meds within scrambled eggs each day after JM had moved away. But then the lockdowns came. So, once a week, P brought me the 7 packages of prepared scrambled eggs to keep in the fridge and bring to bear every evening. Every day for many months.
When Lily and her mom finally came back from Colombia where they had stranded, she came with me. She loved Bear, and always insisted on giving him the scrambled eggs herself. She loves animals, period. It’s awesome to see that against all odds and obstacles put in my way, I managed to be with her all along. In any disaster, she’d be the first I’d save. I’d probably come back for more people, if possible, but honestly, I wouldn’t even think twice, no matter who else is in danger. Not because she carries my genes, but because I see so much potential in her to bring healing into this world. Because I believe that she can contribute disproportionately more to making this world a better place than everyone I know, including me. If she so chooses to, of course. But I think we’re on a good path.
What are your thoughts about this topic? Please feel free to engage in any original way, including dropping links to your posts on similar topics. I'm happy to read (and curate) any quality content that is not created by LLM/AI.
Post written for the #weekend-engagement by @galenkp inviting us to answer selected questions in the Weekend Experiences community each week.
This is my response to:
Helping hand: Have you ever dropped what you're doing to give someone a hand when they needed it most? Explain.
What were you incompetent at doing but through hard work and effort became proficient at doing? Explain.
Imagine a disaster occurred: If you had to choose between saving one family member from death or twenty strangers which would you choose and why?
Thank you for reading!