Ghosting is the one thing that will definitely touch everybody, at one time or another, whether you feel you deserve it or not. But even you, no matter how good you feel you are, once people feel that you no longer serve a purpose in their lives, they’ll simply let you go. They could do it quietly and subtly, so you don’t get hurt. That could be seen as being better than making it a big deal.
I’m sure many of us have been ghosted before, there are the ones we know about and even the ones we didn’t even consider as ghosting. Maybe we ghosted them just as much as they ghosted us, and we’re happy thinking it was all our idea.
Personally, I have no problem ghosting someone, especially once I begin to feel like you’re not threading the same path that I’m on. Once I find out you’re into fraud, I’ll slowly start detaching myself from you. I’d never trust you, and I won’t even be begged to help you out if you need it. Soon, you’ll simply be ghosted. And you’ll most likely think we simply drifted apart. I don’t mind that.
But then, ghosting hurts very much when it’s being done to or by close friends. Especially when they’re people you really expected much more from. But then, life happens, and eventually, people end up showing their true colors, and you just have to find your life and move on. That’s how it is.
I’ve had to let a lot of people go over the years, and I think the hardest one for me was ghosting my neighbor. This was my next-door neighbor back when I was in school. Now, you can ask me how I could possibly ghost someone who lived right beside me? Like, our rooms were separated by a single wall! Yeah, I made it happen.
This guy and I were close. He was one of the first friends that I made when I moved into the lodge. He would come to my room to charge his devices. I was his go-to when it came to movies. Before he watched anyone, he’d ask for my opinion on them, and if I told him that it was boring, then he wouldn’t bother watching it at all. We also shared a lot, from food to resources. I even had a spare key to his room, which shows how close we were.
So, what happened? It was during exam period. The guy was a year before me, and usually, the final years were always the first to write their exams in the day. So, later on, when I was getting to school to write my exam, I saw him leaving school (having finished his), and he told me clearly that he was on his way home. He wished me well on my coming exams.
So, after my papers that day, my coursemates and I were leaving the hall when we got word that the Police had mounted checkpoints at several parts of the school area. Now, this shouldn’t be an issue if you didn’t do anything, but many times, they harass you so much that you might end up saying or doing something in anger that would give them a reason to lock you up. And that’s what people always try to avoid. Which is why even the law-abiding citizens do their best to avoid any brush with the police.
So, knowing my good neighbor had gone home, I asked if he had seen the police. He told me not to worry, that they were in a different district. He told me to simply come back home because “nothing come out”. So, I went with his word and took my usual route home. And I walked right into the checkpoint! By the time I had seen them, it was too late to even try changing my direction, because then it would have been obvious. So, I simply went with the flow.
And just as expected, they were stopping every guy on the road. Even some girls were being stopped as well. They’d search bags, pockets, digging their fingers and unloading everything, looking for the tiniest bit of exhibit. They even went through phones as well. This was always so embarrassing, standing in the middle of the road while all this happened. Someone who tried to resist had his face slapped for no reason, and another one was thrown into their van and accused of attacking an officer. Not assault ooo, ATTACK!!!
I had to keep quiet while they went through everything. I knew I had nothing, but I also knew these guys could use the tiniest reason to keep you and extort from you. Anyway, they found nothing on me and let me go. Many others were not so lucky, especially those who actually had one form of exhibit or the other on their person.
On my way home, I wondered why my neighbor told me to pass there. I even began to make excuses for him. I felt when he did pass that route, they were not there, and they came later on. Which would be why he didn’t know. But that theory blew up when I got home. I told him I still saw the police despite his assurances, and he only smiled. He said they had stopped him as well, so he wanted them to stop me, even though he knew they would find nothing on me.
Like bro… I was floored! He had purposefully sent me in there, knowing what would happen! Anything at all could have gone wrong, I could have said the wrong thing or made the wrong move, and then I would have had my ass kicked, or even worse, thrown into jail. And he knowingly sent me in there? Funny thing was, he thought it wasn’t that deep, telling me sorry while laughing as if I was going to just forget something like that. This was a setup. What’s to stop him from doing something worse later on?
That was the day I decided to cut off my friendship with him. When he asked to come over to my place, I told him I was busy, or I lied that I had a girlfriend in the room (even when I didn’t). When he asked for financial assistance, I told him I didn’t have it. Everything I used to help him with, I just stopped. He kept trying to apologize, but I just couldn’t get past it. He eventually got the gist and left me alone. We didn’t speak again until he eventually moved out of the lodge after his graduation and clearance were done.
Anyone who knows just how crazy the police system here in Nigeria can be and how unfair it is to young guys will totally understand what I’m talking about and why I took that drastic move. Right in front of me, I saw them falsely accuse one guy of attacking them, and I knew that his bail would be loud! That could just as easily have been me.
Do I regret that move? Hell no! I could never trust him after that. What about next time, and he gives me advice? Will I follow through, or will I start contemplating the truth in his words? So no… I did the right thing for myself and let him go.
And I have zero regrets!!!
Thank you for reading. Feel free to share your thoughts in the comments below, I would love to know what you’re thinking. Till we meet in the next post.
This post was inspired by the first topic of this week which is Ghosting. Feel free to try it out.
N.B: All images used in this post are mine. The thumbnail was designed using Canva.
