Why is it that whenever people have misunderstandings with each other, no matter how grave it is, they usually resort to a show of power that only ends up making things worse for everyone involved? It can be really heartbreaking when you see people who were once friends or lovers suddenly start doing everything within their power to put those they’re fighting down.
And what makes it even more painful is how they choose to show this power, many times, it’s done by taking the things that they know you can’t do without. Hitting you right in the place that they know would hurt you without really doing them anything. And it never really ends.
One of the reasons why divorce has so many bad effects on kids is not really because of the shortcomings of the institution itself, but rather, the couple who are getting divorced uses everything they can as a form of weapon. Even their kids. You’d see mothers blocking the fathers from having access to the kids. Not because the fathers are bad or anything, but simply because they’re quarreling and things are not rosy between them.
What about fathers who would simply relocate the kids, simply because they know that it would hurt the mother? A lot of these decisions are made, never in the best interest of the kid. But simply to inflict hurt and pain on the other parent. And sadly, the kids notice all this, and they can see that both parents are more interested in getting even than actually doing them right.
But then, it is what it is. Here in my country, a story is trending right now from a popular couple. Their marriage is going through some pretty rough patches, and it’s all anyone can think about. And both sides of the equation are using everything in their power to inflict more damage. While the husband is using the police to intimidate the wife by arresting her siblings and friends (at least that’s what we’ve been told so far), the wife is using the media, threatening to share all their dirty linen for the world to see.
And there we are, people who once considered themselves lovers, suddenly using things they know would hurt their partner to get at them. It’s just like saying that since beating you won’t hurt you so much anymore, I have to beat your sibling or your kid. That will hurt more because you’ll know that they don’t deserve to be beaten, and they only get that because of you!
The truth is that some people are really vile and bitter, and they are willing to go quite a distance just to make a point. Anything at all just to put you down and emerge as the winner. This is part of what I said the other day, we keep forgetting that we can’t be the main character in anyone’s story but ours. As a husband, you can’t even be the main character in your wife’s story! And that’s why little things that should be easily discussed would be turned into a full battle, making it all about yourself.
You know the father loves his kid, you know he hates being apart from them longer than necessary, you also know for a fact that they’re in no danger at all from him, but for some reason, you still prefer to block his access to them. Just to hurt him!
Now, this post is not inspired by the trending story I mentioned earlier. It’s simply just another example of how badly paradise can crumble, and many times, the kids born into such relationships suffer for it. But sadly, the parents would leave the kids and make it all about themselves.
We really need to do better.
Thank you for reading. Feel free to share your thoughts in the comments below, I would love to know what you’re thinking. Till we meet in the next post.
N.B: All images used in this post are mine. The thumbnail was designed using Canva.
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