Body positivity has to be something that everyone should get on board with. How you see your own body and how comfortable you are with it is very important, because it’s the one thing that you carry everywhere you go. You can’t go somewhere and leave your body behind, you can’t hide your body in a closet, hoping that people won’t see it.
So, how you feel about it is very important because it would help boost your confidence and make you more knowledgeable about what works for you. Body positivity shouldn’t be left to chance. And for many, it has to be a conscious effort, it has to be intentional.
The thing is, topics like this are always shaky at best because finding the balance is not easy. How do you know when to act on your body, and how do you know when to leave and let live? Whether we like it or not, there may be times when we would want to make changes to our bodies. It’s not vanity, it’s just personal tastes.
I think that it only gets bad when you feel insecure about things that you can’t change about yourself. That’s usually one of the downsides of all this. You can’t change your height, you can’t change your eyes, your voice, your body type… things that are beyond your control. And many times, trying to force these changes only ends up making things worse.
And many people feel insecure about even the tiniest things, they worry over it and wonder what other people think. Even when they have people around them telling them that no one is really noticing all that, they keep believing, and it really wrecks their self-confidence. And many times, that’s true. Most of the flaws we see in ourselves, other people don’t see them that way. Other times, people pick out the flaws they think we have, and we subconsciously encourage them by believing that they’re indeed flaws.
People have done so many things in a bid to get the perfect bodies. Sometimes, you’ll see people go under the knife, and when they’re done, you’d wonder, “What exactly was the point?” The “before” was way better than the “after”!!! But these opinions are all personal because, in the long run, as long as it comes to other people’s bodies, your opinions don’t matter. The only ones who do matter are the people the bodies belong to.
As I said before, these feelings force people to make changes to themselves, and many times, they’re drastic. These are big steps and should always be considered carefully. The reason we take them should also be clearly understood. The reason you decide to go to the gym and buff up, the reason you choose to get some BBL done, the reason you’re getting plastic surgery or Botox… whatever it is, you have to do it for yourself. Whatever change you’re making to your body has to be for your personal reasons.
This is very important because the worst thing you can do as an individual is to make changes to your body simply because of what other people think. Because if there’s one thing we’ve all learned, the crowd is never satisfied. They’d shame you for your body, forcing you to go under the knife. Then, when you finally get the procedure done, they’d shame you all over again for doing it, saying you were perfect before you did it. There’d always be one thing or the other to complain about.
And if your reason for doing it is based on the people, what happens when they turn on you? What happens when they show you that they don’t really care? You can’t just undo everything, can you? This is why it’s always a bad idea to be so invested in people’s validation. If you’re gonna make changes, do it because you want to and you feel like it’s what’s best for you. That way, no matter how it goes, nothing will faze you because it’s what you wanted.
I know that people’s opinions of us matter, and we invest a lot into how other people see us, but then, that’s where the truth lies, we get to decide what everyone else sees. They don’t have a choice in the matter. You get to decide what you want for yourself, you get to decide what makes you comfortable and safe, and the rest of the world simply has to come to terms with it. If they don’t like it, they should go suck it!
Body positivity is a good thing, it keeps us grounded in what really matters. It also forces us to take care of ourselves. It can get toxic though, when it starts getting unhealthy. Like when people gain too much weight to the point that it’s dangerous for their health. For them, advising them to shed some weight would sound like bodyshaming them, even though that’s not the intention.
In this church where I worship, there’s a child who’s obese. He can’t stand for too long without getting tired, he walks more than a few steps, and he starts panting for breath. While all his mates are playing around, he’d be in a corner eating. And eating. He’s just ten! When you talk to the Mom about how dangerous it can be for the boy, she tells you to mind your business. Probably because she’s also obese and loves to eat as well.
Honestly, for this to work, we need to be willing to call a spade a spade. We do what we have to do and make it work, one way or the other. We stay positive, stay clean, and stay healthy. What more can we ask for?
Thank you for reading. Feel free to share your thoughts in the comments below, I would love to know what you’re thinking. Till we meet in the next post.
This post is inspired by the third topic of this week which is Body Positivity. Feel free to try it out.
N.B: All images used in this post are mine. The thumbnail was designed using Canva.
