Privacy is a very sensitive issue. This is because being too lax with it can basically be you being nonchalant or careless. And being too tight with it can also be you doing too much. But then, there has to be a way to do this. Your kids need to have privacy, and they also need to have the space to grow at their own pace while learning to be independent.
There are many parents today who are basically helicopter parents, they want to be in everything that their child is into, and if they can’t get in, then the child won’t even think about it. But then, there are also parents who are really laid back when their kids are concerned. I once had a friend who told me that during her teenage years, she could sneak her boyfriend into her home, even when her parents were home, and one time, he even stayed the night. This was because she was certain no one was going to come knocking on her door.
The thing is, how then do we know when it’s too much? You see, the world is dangerous and crazy, and as a result, we always want to protect our kids from people who will want to harm them. That’s why when your kids are little, you have to vet their friends yourself. You decide who their friends are and what exactly they do together. How you receive that relationship could even determine if they go on to be best friends or not.
But as they grow older, you’d have to trust them to make friends for themselves and nurture the relationship. And that’s also when they’d start thinking of privacy for the first time, and they’d also start keeping things from you. I believe that forcing kids to open up will never really work. You can have access to their phones and messages, you can remove their doors and windows, so you know constantly what’s going on with them. But you can never know what’s going on in their minds. And regardless of how good you think you are, kids are really good liars! They’d look you dead in the eye and lie to your face. And you won’t suspect a thing!
Once they notice you don’t trust them with something, they’ll most likely do it anyway, but will also keep it away from you because they know that telling you will be more trouble than it’s worth. I feel that building a close relationship with your kids would be really helpful, that way, as they grow, you can trust them to be open to you, regardless of what they’re going through.
So, while there is also too much privacy, there can be too little, and most of the time, the degree depends largely on the child themselves. You’d have to know when to employ the ‘open-doors’ policy, and when to constantly monitor their computers and phones. You’d also know when you give them space to be their own person. Because if you don’t give them enough of it during their formative years, when they eventually get it, coming back home to you would always be difficult.
So, we need the balance. We need to find that sweet spot between doing too much and doing too little. We need to know when we’re doing enough.
Thank you for reading. Feel free to share your thoughts in the comments below, I would love to know what you’re thinking. Till we meet in the next post.
This post is inspired by the second topic of this week which is Privacy And Kids. Feel free to try it out.
N.B: All images used in this post are mine. The thumbnail was designed using Canva.
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