I am saying this from a place of love. I really don't want to offend anyone. But, I must say something! A few days ago I received a stream of anxiety-inducing comments while picking up a few things at the hardware store. The thing is: all of these comments were meant well. Like, the men who said these things to me had a smile on their face and thought they were being nice. I however felt like I was standing in front of a row of judges who were downvoting my self confidence.
How could this be?
Well, let me just paint a picture for you.
A few days ago I was heading up to the mountains to finally finish a bench I have been crafting on my family's land. On the way I needed to buy a few bags of cement and sand. I sat in the car for a full 15 minutes before getting up the nerve to walk in their, alone. The reason being that I feel like as a young, cute woman, I am generally not treated seriously in hardware stores.
Luckily, the first person to great me was super nice. He asked me what I was looking for and showed me to the concrete and sand section. Despite stumbling over my words a little bit I was able to explain what I needed. He asked me what I was building in a super nice and supportive way and we got to talking about my DIY building projects with cob & other natural materials.
Sadly though, I did make a major error and asked for concrete instead of cement! ugh!
Anyway, I took my place in line with my cart loaded up with 6 bags of sand and 2 bags of concrete - each weighing 50 pounds. That is when the stream of comments began. Literally every man who walked by felt the need to say something like:
"I hope you have help loading those into your car"
or
"You're going to mix concrete .... by yourself?!"
I just smiled and nodded and didn't really engage. I tried to hide how their doubting comments made me feel like my stomach was full of nervous butterflies. On the outside, however, I was trying to project the confident builder girlie that I am.
Luckily, I got some positive comments too. An old dude in line smiled and said:
"Looks like you have a fun project ahead of you"
and in response to some of the skeptical looks Paul - the man who had helped me load my cart with concrete and sand - said:
"She knows what she is doing"
And that last comment is the one that I want to hold on to. That is exactly the vibe I wish for from my fellow humans; supportive words and a helping hand. Even though I could have loaded my trunk with the 8 bags on my own if needed, I accepted Paul's help.
Before I left we chatted for a bit about natural building and I told him about the bench I am working on, and the house my man & I are building on. He was super nice and supportive and wished us all the luck in the world.
I thanked him for the supportive vibes and told him how awkward it often is to walk into a hardware store on my own. Then, I drove off to do my building project, 100% alone.
And yeah I did make the rookie mistake of asking for concrete when I really wanted cement. But, whatever girl, learning is about making mistakes and working what you've got. And in the end, it all worked out.