Hi there, friends of the Holos&Lotus community, how are you today? I hope you are very well! I am writing this with the feeling at the surface of my heart. With an emotion that I still can't identify, stuck in my throat. Its taste is sour; it burns me, and with water it doesn't go away. I feel as if something, something evil, heavy and dark, is holding me tight, but it doesn't feel warm; it's suffocating; it burns me and makes me cold at the same time. And to think that this feeling came, solely, because of a phrase that was said to me. It's amazing the power that words have, both for good and for bad, and we always end up underestimating that. So, it happens that today, out of the blue, one of my friends gets an anonymous message saying something horrible about me. He didn't want to tell me, but I, unfortunately, being someone who senses too much, was able to know, at least in general, what had happened. Then, I felt like a word, not even audible, hit me like a firecracker. At first, my initial emotion was anger: “Who would have said that about me!”, then sadness “why?”, then an attempt at feigned indifference “well, that says more about that person than it does about me”. Or I don't know; the feelings are so complex that I can't decide if I felt it all at once or if I didn't really feel anything. Although I'm sure I felt something, because the stinging in my eyes foreshadowed a torrent of tears that, even now, I struggle to hold back, say that I really felt. This situation just happened to me, but, after taking a breath, downplaying it, and then adding it back up, I think I can allow myself to reflect on a few things. Mainly, I don't think I'll ever get tired of mentioning it… Why is hate so normalized today? Sometimes I think about how beautiful life would be if all people would shut up unnecessary comments, but the universe where that would happen would be worthy of a paradise, and, therefore, it would mean a fantasy. Nowadays, it is common and even expected to receive hateful comments, even if they make sense, as if they do not. Even the most beautiful women are told they are hideous, or the wisest people are told they don't know what they are talking about, or the most skilled people are told they don't do it well. I feel like, as content creators, everyone has received those kinds of messages at least once in their life. While all people have received hate at one time or another, I feel like content creators are much more prone in terms of quantity because they are always exposed to opinion. I feel that, lately, social networks have been filled with insensitivity and a lack of common sense. Suddenly, something horrible happens, and all the people think they are the wisest to give their opinion, or the most capable, as if we were not all humans who make mistakes. But, as I said, even common sense went on a sabbatical, as they don't seem to be aware of their own erring human nature. Yet, even without anything happening, they seem to need to put someone else down to feel better about themselves, just like what happened to me today and that horrible message I can't get out of my head. It hit me right in my insecurities. And it's another problem: the people who spew hate are not the only ones lacking empathy, but the people who try to comfort you after that. Always using phrases like “don't pay attention to them”, as if it were so easy, just ignore it, but no, it's something that ends up permeating, especially to people with weak self-esteem, among which I include myself. Even though I've done everything to try to be strong, I can't. I feel like the hate you get is like an evil seed that implants itself in your brain, growing like a weed, tangled and barbed, embedding itself so strongly that it ends up hurting forever. But, sometimes, I think that damaged people are the ones who end up hurting others. And, as they say, maybe hate is just a reflection of what you carry inside, but in the end, words more or words less, that doesn't eliminate the damage that malicious people do, and that's the saddest thing. For my part, I feel that with all this, I finally got a break after releasing what I felt, because I know that I can always count on beautiful people who read what I write here. This is a topic that I had wanted to touch on before, but I didn't know how. And well, I think I have to thank that anonymous person, in spite of everything, because without her, I wouldn't have been able to externalize this. At the end of the day, I thank life that this time I have people who listen to me and support me; at least I have a place to recharge my batteries and go on. I think about life, how much I have left to live, and how much hate I have left to receive..... But, I think this time I want to say something: I don't want it, I don't accept it, and I don't claim it for my life. I still have so far to go, and I think I can't afford to carry the weight of other people's hatred. I think I feel better about myself again, I reflect that at the end of the day we all have something ugly on the outside, but it's worse to be ugly on the inside too. Thank you very much to this beautiful community for reading me. #### Hope you liked my post! Without anything else to add… Take care, drink water, and don't forget to smile. Love you! See you in the next post, bye!