my aunt is well stocked with cheese cake and/or ice cream always.
Hello hive fam, I hope all is well with you. I'm have been lying in bed all day (except for when I ate) and now I am trying to get myself to do something.. and that is to post something..
I even intellectually know how I am so lucky to have all I have and to be here with my mom and aunt and uncle, and also my sister and her two youngest kids live nearby and also my 2 cousins, oh and also my one cousin's daughter who I posted a pic of earlier. (the really tall girl)
I took my medicine as normal and even started taking my wellbutrin, an anti-depressant, and I'm hoping it will kick in real soon.
I think what got me down all of a sudden is when I emailed my soon to be x wife who I was married to for 22 years. I regret ever telling her many things I've told her or my actions that led me to this point.
She is better off.. I realize it, but I am selfish and wish she had just said no way when I mentioned the word, divorce. I really did myself in. I am feeling like what is there even to look forward to, even though I know I am only 51 and have many years ahead of me.. but they will be without seeing her and my kids like before.
Again, I know I did myself in, but I feel like that is just part of my sickness. (bipolar since I was 16) Maybe I shouldn't post this. I usually try and post much lighter subjects. Forgive me... I just needed to get my feelings out.