This is coming from experiences I had witness that wasn't pleasing, seems like a keeping friendship that wasn't really worthy enough. It's not like I was having this entitlement syndrome but I actually thought making any sacrifices for someone deserves to be appreciated either by staying loyal not into betrayals.
In today's system some many people takes time to make friends considering the facts that it demands trust, loyalty and value for one like me to keep friendship. From the on set it will have to take a few time to get to understand people, what they value and what they discredit so you can compare and evaluate if it fit into your own personality.
Why I'm saying this is simple, using myself as an example I've had a lot of friends because I had that mindset of not judging people's personality, for humanity sake and all but to my greatest surprise that was how I had been witnessing regular heartbreaks, betrayals and disappointment.
This now made me remember that interesting story of the scorpion and the frog, that on crossing the river when the frog boarded the scorpion on it's back, the scorpion stung the frog deeply at just the middle of the river, when the frog asked the scorpion why he had done that despite the sacrifice it's passing through for it, the scorpion replied " my bad! It is just my nature".
So, with this short interesting tale,I stopped forcing friendships or relationship, i even set boundaries where necessary. I know my cycle of few friends enough from their weaknesses, to strength, and flaws. Most importantly I don't feel entitled to them, whenever they need my help I render it completely whether financially, productively or kindly. When I started managing and reducing expectations from people it makes me to be more focus like there's nobody owing me anything, when I help I don't expect a thing in return, with this mindse, I grind like there's no time left..
My experience was when I so much hoped on a close friend of mine that ventured into politics and I made sure he never lost any competition either during and after the campaign season. He finally won and became our head representative, but to my greatest shock, he became a wolf in sheep clothing. He denied me accountability, credibility all because he has access to a lot of money.
I was left disappointed and full of regrets. I never for once expect the turn around. My expectation was too high from him. I took it upon myself to make sure he got to that level and seat.
That was when I learnt the hard way to always reduce and manage my expectation because we humans are really unpredictable. I vouch for my friend and ally hoping and expecting he would never turn a blind eye on me, but I guess so wrong, humans will always be humans. I'm nit saying I became very rigid to people around me, but I had to reduce my wide cycle of friends.
Similar situation my dad faced, he helped a lot if his colleagues in the 90s but when he needed them most, they all vanished. He invested lots of his resources for them to become great on that process his expectations became high thinking they would not forget his good deeds, well he got side lined.
I hope we reflect on this I manage our cycle of few friends enough.
All images are mine.