Have you been down to the Playhouse?

Carrie and are settling into our new home on MSPWaves, getting into the groove of providing you original entertainment every Saturday night!

Join us from 5-7 MST, Saturday nights on MSPWaves!

We've been doing the STEEM sketch comedy thing with the Playhouse for over a year now, but after a little break, we're back with a bang. This is the only interactive comedy show of its kind!

In the past, we have brought you such amazing Episodes and Sketches as...

• The Cat Ladies! (12 episodes)
• The Steem Monsters Tavern! (20+ episodes)
• Space Carrie's Adventures in Space (7 episodes)
• Animals Suck (6 episodes)
• Inside the Fart Plane
• The Safe Space
• The Unsung Heroes Club
• The Chronicles of SteemTown
• Keto Wars
• Indestructibilly the Kid
• The Chronicled Defeat of the Dragon of Gurbly
• A Cryptmas Carol
• The Hardware Store
• There are so many more... I could keep going.

I have also written dozens of original songs just for you, STEEM, and tons of hilarious song parodies!

Come play some games, win some prizes, laugh a little (or a lottle).

Here is the script for the newest episode of the Cat Ladies, which will be performed LIVE on tonight's show!

The Cat Ladies

Episode 12 - “Looking for Bit Coins”

CHARACTERS

AGNES - Definitely the oldest looking, sounding and smelling. DORIS - She has the cleanest house and the most air conditioners. ETHEL - She’s been lots of places and done lots of things.

NARRATOR

In the middle of a hot summer, three old ladies are relaxing in the artificial comfort of four blasting air conditioners, one situated in each of Doris’ four living room windows. The cats are sleeping soundly in their various nooks and corners. Ethel is scoffing at the pages of a newspaper, and Agnes is seated at a fold out card table, picking through a literal mountain of quarters, nickels and dimes. Welcome to a typical Cat Ladies summer day!

AGNES Who is that?

DORIS Who’s what, Agnes? You’ve got your face buried in coins.

AGNES Who’s that on the dime?

ETHEL Who’s on the dime, you say? Well that’s Franklin SmellyWhore Roosevelt.

DORIS I don’t think that was his name…

AGNES He’s so handsome!

ETHEL Everyone looks good on a coin. He was a damn socialist cripple! I’ve been writing letters to my congressmen for last twenty years to get Ronald Reagan on the dime like he should oughtta be!

DORIS Oh Ethel, Ronald Reagan is never gonna be on the dime. I heard they’re gonna get rid of the dime, anyway.

ETHEL Well, I want to see Reagan on the dime before I die!

DORIS What about you, Agnes. Who would you like to be pictured on the dime?

AGNES Zeus!

ETHEL He’d never go for that. He’s more hundred dollar bill material.

DORIS One more time Agnes, can you tell me about your little coin project here.

AGNES Sure thing, Doris. I keep hearing about these bit coins.

ETHEL What the hell do you know about bitcoin, Agnes?

AGNES Oh, I know plenty. These bit coins just a few years ago, when we were in our sixties, were worth just a few pennies each.

DORIS Don’t you know about this stuff, Ethel?

ETHEL Yeah, but I wanna hear Agnes tell it. Go on, Agnes.

AGNES Certainly. Well, now, each bit coin is worth about ten thousand dollars! Can you believe that?

DORIS I don’t know, Agnes. Nothing’s meant to rise in value so quickly… Maybe it’s a bubble.

AGNES No, not bubbles, Doris. Bit Coins. Have you taken your meds today?

ETHEL What do you use the bit coins for Agnes?

AGNES Oh, lots of things. You can’t buy stuff with ‘em unless you’re computer smart, but if I find any I’ll just put a classified ad in the paper.

ETHEL If you find any?

DORIS Right. That explains the coins.

AGNES Yep. In the past six days I have acquired approximately 624,000 units of coinage. It’s taking a little longer than I thought to go through them.

ETHEL So you’re looking for…

AGNES That’s right, bit coins. Can we watch Frozen again?

DORIS Agnes, the doctor told you, only once in every six hour period.

ETHEL I can’t believe the doctor prescribed watching less Frozen.

DORIS Well they can’t always completely remove the cancer…

AGNES Let it go!!! Let it go!!!!!!

ETHEL Dammit, Agnes! They’ve made movies since then, you know! Haven’t you seen Trolls, or Zootopia? Hell, there’s even live action remakes of Beauty and the Beast, Alladdin, the Little Mermaid and the Lion King now.

DORIS Whoa. Live action Beauty and the Beast?

ETHEL Yep.

DORIS Isn’t that, kind of… gross?

ETHEL Yep.

DORIS Alladdin… Who did they get to play the Genie?

ETHEL The Fresh Prince!

AGNES Hip, hop! Hippy to the hip with the hip-hip hop and you don’t stop…

ETHEL Dammit, Agnes, that’s the Sugar Hill Gang. I’m talking about the Fresh Prince, with DJ Jazzy Jeff.

DORIS So the Fresh Prince plays the Genie. What color is he?

AGNES Racist!

ETHEL Blue, like in the cartoon.

DORIS Okay, what about the Lion King? It must have been dangerous to train all those animals for the movie.

ETHEL What, you think they went to the Serengeti and filmed with a bunch of hungry wild animals. Hell no! They used computers for that shit!

DORIS Well that’s a relief.

AGNES Computers! That’s it!

ETHEL What, Agnes?

AGNES Well, I’ve been looking like the dickens for these bit coins, but I don’t really know what I’m looking for.

DORIS I’m sure they’ll be easy to recognize if you find one, Agnes.

AGNES What if I have to put them in a computer to be able to tell if they’re bit coins or not.

ETHEL Where would you put it?

AGNES Don’t know. Doris, can I use your computer?

DORIS No, it’s, uh, in the shop.

AGNES Dammit, Doris, you need to take better care of that thing. It’s always in the shop when I’m over.

ETHEL How’d you acquire all those coins anyway, Agnes?

AGNES I had to go to about twenty banks. Did you know that most banks will sell you rolls of coins, even if you’re not a customer? If they hesitated, I just acted like I was a pirate looking for treasure. Then they just thought I was senile and gave me the coins.

DORIS I love playing the senile card.

ETHEL You bought ‘em in rolls? Then why the hell’d you mix ‘em all together like that?

AGNES I figured it would be easier to find the bit coins this way.

DORIS Well, Agnes, it seems like you have a good system in place.

AGNES You’re damn right! If I find even a single bit coin, I’ll be in the money!

ETHEL Stranger things have happened.

AGNES Can we watch Frozen now?

DORIS No, Agnes. You still have an hour to wait.

AGNES You know what that means, Ethel? It’s time for the foot cream.

DORIS Oh, god.

AGNES You promised, Doris! You know I can’t reach my own feet, and the foot doctor says I have to put it on every four hours or the anomaly will only grow.

DORIS Hold on, lemme get my gloves.

ETHEL (reading newspaper) Holy crap! Jeffery Epstein death ruled a suicide! That’s hilarious!

AGNES Nothing much funny about suicide, Ethel.

ETHEL Sorry Agnes, but this time there is. This is the biggest load of bullshit the fake news has tried to feed us yet. But this time, everybody knows it. And soon, those evil sons of bitches are going down.

AGNES It’s funny when you get all serious, Ethel. Ooo! I think I found one!

ETHEL Lemme see… Nope, that’s a Chuck-E-Cheese token. Better keep looking, Agnes.

DORIS Don’t give up Agnes, I’m sure you’ll find a bit coin sooner or later. Now let’s get that foot creamed up.

AGNES Okay, but watch out for the oozing part…

DORIS AND ETHEL Ewwwwwwwww.

NARRATOR And so, as the dog day wore on, Agnes counted coins while Ethel complained about politics and Doris made excuses to save her appliances from Agnes’s experiments. After watching Frozen, Agnes proclaimed to everyone’s shock that Frozen no longer entertained her the way that it used to, and that she was willing to give a new movie a try. She did specify, however, that she would have no part in any Disney offerings containing bestiality or blue Fresh Prince Genies. So the quest began to find a new film for Agnes to enjoy. Unfortunately, she was unable to find any bit coin… this time. Don’t miss the next episode of The Cat Ladies, on the Playhouse!

End of Episode