There was a season in my life when I thought being kind meant always saying “yes.” “Yes, I’ll help you.” “Yes, I’ll be there.” “Yes, I’ll listen, even when my own heart is heavy.”
I believed availability was proof of love, and silence was the price of peace. But slowly, I began to realize something dangerous in the name of kindness, I was allowing myself to sink.
One of the hardest lessons I had to learn was that people will always take as much as you allow them to. Not because they’re necessarily bad people, but because that’s how human nature works. And I PRECIOUS, was the perfect giver. I gave my time, my energy, my patience, sometimes even my sanity, until I felt like an empty shell walking around, smiling on the outside but exhausted within.
I remember one particular experience vividly. A close friend had the habit of offloading every single problem she faced onto me. Every call was a storm, every conversation a weight. She never asked how I was, never checked if I was okay. She only wanted to be heard, to be comforted and I gave it freely, again and again. Damn…… it was always exhausting.
At first, I thought it was love. Isn’t that what friends do? But the truth was, I wasn’t being a friend. I was being a dumping ground.
One evening, after yet another exhausting two-hour call where I barely got a chance to speak, I sat on my bed, my phone still in my hand, my chest tight. I felt drained to the point of tears. And for the first time in a long while, I asked myself, ‘When was the last time someone held space for me?’ When was the last time I was asked, ‘Precious, how are you really doing?’
The silence in my mind was louder than any answer.
That was when it hit me like a whisper from God: ‘Your peace is also precious.’
I realized that setting boundaries was not selfishness. It was survival. It was love, love for myself, and love for others too, because relationships built on one sided giving will always collapse.
The next day, when my friend called again, I decided to do the unthinkable. With a trembling voice but a firm spirit, I said, ‘I care about you deeply, but I can’t always be the person who carries everything for you. I also need space to breathe, to rest, and to heal.’
There was silence, a long one. My heart pounded. I thought she’d cut me off, accuse me of being insensitive, or simply walk away. Instead, after a pause, she whispered, “I wish I had your courage.”
That moment changed me forever.
I realized boundaries don’t push the right people away, they draw them closer. They filter your circle, leaving behind those who truly value you not for what you give endlessly, but for who you are.
Since then, I’ve stopped apologizing for protecting my space. I no longer feel guilty for saying “no” when it's necessary to say. And I’ve discovered something beautiful, the people who truly love you will respect your boundaries. They won’t see them as walls but as guidelines for how to love you without breaking you.
Setting boundaries taught me this truth, when you protect your peace, you don’t lose people, you lose the ones who were never meant to stay.
And in that, there is freedom.
So here’s my reminder to you, reading this right now, your peace is precious too. Never feel guilty for guarding it.
About the pictures 😁, I took them in my favourite place in school. I love the library so much.
Shalom