Initially this post as going to be a specific reflection. But, like many of my thoughts these days, focus was lost, thoughts lost and was essentially left with nothing but scrambled bits of thoughts in my head. Just as I was about to close the lid of this laptop, the thought popped into my head that I should just reflect on lost reflections.
For me it is overly frustrating to deal with brain fog. At least that is what the neurologist calls it. It is so weird and the best way I can describe it sometimes is "thinking through mud".
Sometimes a memory or answer seems to be right there, but you just can't seem to grab hold of it. You can see a outline of it, you can even catch a glimpse of clarity maybe, but the full picture is always missing.
When you attempt to reach for it, the feeling is like being stuck in the mud. You know, that feeling when your feet are about knee deep in the muck and you can't pull them free to take the next step. Thus, my anaology of "thinking through the mud".
There was a time when my mind was sharp. By no means was I some genius or anything, but could hold my own in a conversation, argue intelligently my points, and make split second decisions.
Like many things with mental and physcial limitations, it is a challenge that must be overcome. Although I have not figured out completely how to overcome this one yet, I am pushing the rock up the hill, stepping through the mud, one slogging step at a time.
The biggest thing is that I no longer get down on myself or let feelings about it impact how I behave moving forward when it effects me. However, I do realize though that there is the luxury because I am retired now and not much is dependant on my quick decision making or memory recall.
One thing I have learned is that I must keep challenging my mind, testing the lmits. Read, write, do puzzles, converse and other things that make the grey matter work.
Letting the brain rot along with the rest of my body is not an option.
Thanks for reading,
Joe
Notes: -All content is mine unless otherwise annotated. -Images are my own unless otherwise noted. -Photos edited using MS Paint and/or iPhone SE. -Page Dividers from The Terminal Discord.
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