Weird

Lately it has been a dreary time around here. It has been raining and I have thinking a lot about loss. Why is it that the rain and gloomy weather sometimes brings on gloomy thoughts?

Rainy weather doesn't alays do this for me, it sometimes is comfroting and even when it is thundering, I can sleep like a baby. Not sure why this is.

Weird?

Yeah, I am weird, but not sure this is, because after doing some Google-Fu I found both cases are normal for most part. Anyway, as I was saying, I have been thinking about loss, especially since saying goodbye to my Bailey girl.

I miss my night time confidant. The night seems so quite now without her to talk to. I find myself looking over where her bed used to be often at nights. Then there are the moments I find myself starting to talk to her, then realizing she is not there.

Weird?

Maybe, but I look back at other loss and realize I had similar experiences as well with them. The recent loss of @itz.inno mother made me think of when I lost mine a over 12 years ago.

There were many times after I would look at thephone on certain days and think I should call mom and then realize she was gone. The phone would ring and I would hope it was her and then then I would quickly remember she was not with us anymore.

It took time before those feelings faded. The pain is still there, but it is not so easily triggered by environmental factors like they used to be.

Now that I look back, most loss I have expeierenced is kind of like that. When you do think about it, there is the hurt and when it is a recent loss it is easily triggered by all kinds of environmental factors. As tiem goes on though, you learn to cope.

Occasionally though there is an uncommon smell or a song that brings back a memory and that hurt just pours forward in an uncontrollable fashion. MOst times I'm able to push it back down and move on, but sometimes I just have to find a private place; you know hat I mean?

Weird?

Thanks for reading, Joe

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