A small part of me is somewhat motivated. It's pretty small but it's lingering in my mind and body.
I basically want to become successful more than ever for my son.
Also to make my exes regret leaving me. Is that a toxic thought? I don't know. LOLOL.
I also want to successful for my own sake, don't get me wrong.
I have tried to hit up some old friends with very limited success. Like I said, I'm the king of ruining and taking relationships for granted. Nobody really cares anymore.
I'm exhausted and I'm not even doing anything.
But like I said there is a low-key small amount of motivation starting to creep up outta me.
I've been getting ready to push forward and be a success for months.
Another cool thing that has helped me sorta be motivated is the fact that I discovered a new rap artist on youtube.
Totally new music I haven't heard before has been surprisingly therapeutic.
The music doesn't bring back old or bad memories because obviously I have never heard it.
In my opinion it's some awesome music!
Nowadays it's somewhat hard to discover new underground music because youtube has been dumb for years now.
Here is a taste of Freddie Dredd:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7VGS1biCJDE
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xu9-wTD0u8o
I feel like he makes good just intense music to sorta vent to and get some negative energy out.
I know his music is kinda intense and even can be portrayed as negative or unhealthy.
But I think it's great.