This post was inspired by the advice I want to give my daughter on her 18th birthday. I decided to share it with the world because daughters everywhere could benefit from this advice. The world finally considers you an adult, which means you can vote, sign a legal contract, open a personal bank account, rent an apartment, move out, get married, and so much more. With great power comes great responsibility. You have always been responsible for your age, but you are now venturing into unknown territory.
For your 18th birthday I want to give you the gift of advice informed by a lifetime of experience from making many good and many bad decisions. Some of this advice runs counter to choices I made, it is my prayer that you save yourself the grief of making the same mistakes. In all cases my advice can be summed up as love our creator with all of year heart, mind, and soul and have faith to obey his commands and instructions regardless any fleshly considerations.
- God, YHVH, is real and His word is true. The world will try to water down the significance of God and undermine His word and convince you that his commandments don’t apply for today. You were created by Him for a purpose. We did not evolve and the world is not millions of years old. The world is about 6000 years old. You may think these beliefs are “anti-science” or that you can combine belief in God with evolution. I made that mistake and it fundamentally undermined my faith. This small seed of disbelief produces the fruit of disobedience and rebellion to His word. If you are ever tempted to put your faith in the opinions of evolutionists I encourage you to check out AnswersInGenesis.org.
- Forgive as you wish to be forgiven, for with the measure you use it will be measured to you. Yeshua paid the highest price because of our sin, and nothing anyone else could ever do to you can compare with the mercy He has shown us. Be careful of the sin of pride in thinking that your sins are less than others, because Yeshua came to die for everyone. Read Matthew 18:21-35, the Parable of the Unforgiving Servant. When you truly understand the unpayable debt He has forgiven for us, no wrong of others is too great to be forgiven. Do not forget Matthew 6:12, “And forgive us our debts/sins, as we forgive our debtors (those who sin against us)”. I want to be forgiven; therefore, I seek to eliminate all unforgiveness in my life. I learned, even before coming back to YHVH, that forgiveness is something you do for yourself and not for the other person. Holding on to resentment only hurts yourself and can even have consequences for your physical health.
- Wait on YHVH to bring your perfect husband. His plan is better than anything that you might settle for to avoid being alone. The last thing you want to happen is to be attached to a relationship with a guy you know is wrong for you when the right guy comes along. When the right guy comes you will know! He will be a man who puts Yeshua first in His life and leads you in righteousness. While people can change, do not stack the odds against yourself by being unequally yoked. YHVH knew Adam needed Eve and brought her to Him before Adam even knew what he was missing. If you trust Him and follow Him then He will lead you to your Adam in His time. I encourage you to study everything Derek Prince has to say about marriage and family life .
- Trust YHVH with all your heart; and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths. We are often tempted to disregard the guidance provided by the Bible because we think we know better today and our modern customs are different. If you want to find your true love, then you want YHVH to guide your path which means studying and following His advice even if it doesn’t appear to be working in the short term. This is true faith. When you do find your true love, do not structure your marriage around secular philosophy. Your role as a wife and mother is one of the greatest callings of your life; it is why God created women. As a wife you will have to model the relationship of the body of Messiah to Yeshua and your future husband will have to model the relationship of Messiah to the body of believers. Do not undermine the authority of your Husband in the home any more than you would wish to undermine the authority of Yeshua over the church. Your Husband cannot make you submit, nor should He make you, just as Yeshua doesn’t make us submit. Yeshua can only bless us when we are in voluntary submission; likewise, your voluntary submission to your future husband, in spite of his obvious faults, is your testimony of faith in Yeshua. Through submission you will be blessed, and through rebellion you will be cursed. While you wait for your husband, now is time time to voluntarily submit to His word in your life. If you don’t study and practice the value of submission now, then you will not be ready for your future Husband. If your future husband submits to Yeshua as you submit to him then you will be loved and not abused. Love is patient, love is kind, it does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, and it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, and always preserves.
- Let no debt remain outstanding, except the continuing debt to love one another - Romans 13:8. In other words, don’t borrow money or go into debt, even to buy a car or house. YHVH will always make a way for you to be obedient to his word. Be wise with what you have received and make amends with everyone as far as it depends upon you. If you do borrow money, make sure that it is a non-recourse loan so that your debt can always be satisfied by returning the collateral. In this way you will never be in a position of bankruptcy and leaving debt unpaid. Student debt, credit cards, car loans, and most mortgages are recourse loans - avoid them as you would avoid intentionally disobeying God.
- College isn’t worth it. College is the tradition of this world, but is unlikely to provide a return on your investment. This is especially true for the degrees in business, arts, history, philosophy, etc. Statistically, the return on a business degree is $100k over an entire lifetime career; however, if you choose to be a wife and raise children then you will not maximize that career path enough to be able to realize the return. Furthermore, it is not clear that the studies properly factored in inflation. In fact, chances are your degree with have very little to do with the jobs you end up taking. If you are interested in Small Business management then there are ample ways to get better real world experience at a fraction of the cost and time.
- Tell the truth, or at least don’t lie. God is truth and in Him there is no lie. Facing the consequences of the truth can be scary and costly, but at least God is with you in the truth. The long term consequences of the lie are incalculable and outside the will of God. It is better to give up your life for the Truth than to keep your life with a lie. For there is nothing covered, that shall not be revealed; neither hid, that shall not be known. Therefore whatsoever you have spoken in darkness shall be heard in the light; and that which you have spoken in the ear in closets shall be proclaimed upon the housetops. Your biggest challenge will be being honest with yourself! It is vitally important that you seek truth and eliminate contradiction in your life.
I give this advice with a prayer that you will have ears to hear and eyes to see; however, in the event you disregard the advice of the earthly father God has given you and choose to take your inheritance, which was claimed before its time, and squander it in wild living, aka living disobedient to God - I want you to know that I strive to embody the nature of the Prodigal son’s father. When you come to your senses, I will be here to celebrate your return.
I do this because I am a prodigal son who has returned to his Creator, confessed that I have sinned against my father and heaven, and that I am not worthy to be counted as His son. He has been faithful and just to forgive my sins and cleans me from all unrighteousness. While I am far from perfect, you have an earthly father who is striving his best to be a representation of our heavenly Father in your life.
It is my prayer that you would reach out to me for advice along your path in life so that you may profit from my hard learned lessons. Lastly, I leave you with a number of YouTube videos to substantiate and elaborate upon the advice given above.
With Love, Dad
Warren Buffet: College is an Extremely Expensive Waste of Time https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2zYnngMEm5w
The Ramsey Show - Is College Worth It https://youtube.com/watch?v=-1wqhIv7Lpg
Jordan Peterson: What to do if not college? https://youtube.com/watch?v=Y0Dr9fgaLiE
https://youtu.be/arArrkkTsGk?si=0Qou_h4nZnvX6SVN
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MYa93WlPt3I https://youtu.be/zSGGnx2dT3k?si=0NSgsREJ8S1W7Pm2