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“So there are all kinds of things that go into keeping hair right overnight – there's the hair net, but there's also the bonnet, the cotton or satin scarf, and even folks using the top of their stockings after the bottoms have run away, but it really depends on what works for your hair.”
Eleanor (11), Edwina (8), and Amanda Ludlow (7) along with Velma (11) and Gracie Trent (8) were introducing ten-year-old Glendella Ludlow to the world of the hair maintenance options they enjoyed. Eleanor and Velma were leading the discussion while the younger girls were showing off their favorite things for Glendella to try on.
“Right, Eleanor,” Velma said. “It really depends on the nitty-gritty things: how you sleep, and how much you sweat, because there's mussing, and then there's matting, and even though there are ways that Gracie's and my hair behaves differently than yours, Glendella, it just is easier for everyone not to scare one's self looking in the mirror in the morning, and then there's all that detangling.”
“I had so many haircuts because Bad Grandma couldn't be bothered,” Glendella said, “but I couldn't be mad because she doesn't know how to do her own hair either. When the salon closed because of the pandemic, it was a whole panic – I mean she was flipping out talking about not in 65 years – and that means her mom didn't know either.”
“65 years ago,” Velma said, “I'm sure she had someone who looks like me as a hairdresser.”
“Yep,” Glendella said, “because she broke down and started crying about how civil rights for the help ruined everything, and now she gotta pay and take the risk of getting Covid to bring somebody in.”
“The way we do things here is so much more reasonable,” Eleanor said.
“Ain't it the truth, Ellie, ain't it the truth,” Gracie said, “because the thing about 65 years ago and really since 1852 from here to Pennsylvania, when you try to turn the clock back, you might mess with a Jubilee, and, see, a Jubilee will put a part in your hair from two miles off as a warning that no, we're not doing that and neither is anybody we protect.”
“And then there's that part, and that's not safe,” Amanda said. “That is definitely not safe!”
“Save me having to get Andrew's plastic bat again,” Edwina said. “I wish somebody would try to snatch up one of my brown friends because they don't know what to do with their hair – they better stuff it under a bonnet or net or scarf and sit down and shut up somewhere!”
“That's probably what your great-great-grandmother Hilda Lee said to my great-great-grand-aunt Mahogany Mae Jubilee around 1966 when they rolled out and did a few things with their families,” Velma said. “It's really, really important to learn that other people do not exist to make up for the fact that you don't know or want to learn what you are doing.”
“Wait a minute,” Glendella said. “Is that the 1966 that – hey, Upgrade Papa!”
Capt. R.E. Ludlow, knowing that was the special name his cousin and newest adoptee had for him, came immediately.
“Yes, Glendella?”
“There's only one 1966 in a century, right?” she said.
“Yes,” he said.
“OK, because I just found out how – you know that picture that Grumps has of the Ludlow men of his branch who all have these bad toupees in 1967?”
“Yes,” Capt. Ludlow said. “Apparently they were involved in something bad in 1966 and lost a lot of hair at the same time. I was five years old when that picture was taken, and your biological grandfather Astor was 15 and worried about going bald early, but something else had happened and it was never discussed what it was.”
“Your grandmother Hilda Lee and her best friend my aunt Mahogany Mae Jubilee happened,” Velma said. “Your big Ludlow cousins were mad because their domestic workers decided not to wait for civil rights to get to Lofton County ten years late and all left their jobs and moved out. The Lees-of-the-Mountain and the Jubilees-of-the-mountain gave them cover.”
“Oh,” Capt. Ludlow said. “Well, that explains why Astor's father was so mad at my father and said to him, 'You can't even control your women!' To which my father responded, 'You are a whole old Virginian and you still don't know your name ain't Grant.'”
“Oh, so they knew Grandee Lee was up in it,” Velma said.
“Apparently,” Capt. Ludlow said. “Of course in my branch of the Ludlow family, we all learned how to do our own hair, and therefore, how not to be granted a toupee the hard way. I just found out from you what happened, Velma!”
“I just found out it was your cousins that – yeah, Glendella, you are well out of that branch of the Ludlow family,” Velma said. “Been getting messed over for real since 1966!”
Amanda put her head in her little hands.
“I mean, God let that branch live through 1966, but they didn't learn anything – calling and coming over here to act a fool is not what you do when you thank God and you learn!”
“But Grumps was only 15 and they probably lied to him too,” Glendella said. “He probably never even knew what happened either and so walked right into getting his real hair and his whole uppity life blown off, messing with Upgrade Papa.”
“This is what happens when people don't tell children the truth!” Edwina said. “I hate that about adults!”
“You know … .” Capt. Ludlow said, contemplating all the things his seven grandchildren were going to ask about their parents and biological grandmother in due time, and resolving yet again to carefully but clearly tell the truth.
“You do have lovely hair too, Upgrade Papa,” Glendella said, “just like Good Grandma, and y'all are not fussing with anyone about it.”
“Nope – waste of time, energy, and money, and around here, maybe even your life,” he said.
“Ain't it the truth, Uncle Captain, ain't it the truth,” Gracie said.