Vanderbilt Ludlow had never experienced the power of real lemon, honey, and ginger combined to the strength that Mrs.Thalia Ludlow his cousin-in-law made it … he did not know that hot spicy drinks on a hot day will actually cool you off, and so he was not prepared when he physically began to cool down. So he gently shook himself loose from his little cousin seven-year-old Amanda and his great-niece ten-year-old Glendella and got the attention of his cousin Capt. R.E. Ludlow.
“Robert, my body is disassociating from this world – it's 78 degrees in the house and I feel like 55 – I think I am about to die.”
Capt. Ludlow realized what had happened, of course, having had a huge mug of his wife's tea for the same purpose, but did not offer an explanation – he caught himself, in mind of the utter humiliation Vanderbilt had been through with his own brother and their cousins. Cousin Archibald had taken all he could and gotten out. Vanderbilt had buckled down again, and again, and again – and had gotten the Ludlow Winery to the best end it could get to as a division of the Ludlow Bubbly, making higher-end grape soda with its fine blends of native and imported grapes. He also had supported his wife Susanna through cancer all the way to remission while the Ludlow family branch around him largely ridiculed him for not doing what they would do and get a healthier and younger model.
He had also done what he could in the middle of all that for his great-niece Glendella, for he and Aunt Susanna would come get her on the weekends and take her to his church, and then take her to Sunday dinner – and that kept his brother and brother's wife from neglecting their granddaughter as much as they could, given that their son and son-in-law had abandoned the child entirely. The idea that Vanderbilt and Susanna were looking over their shoulders weekly kept Astor and Big Glendella at least mindful of Baby Glendella's physical upkeep and education.
“It's really sad when your grandparents just do the right thing only because they need to keep up appearances,” the younger Glendella said to her great-uncle now that they were both safe.
“It is,” Vanderbilt said. “It's also really sad when it's your brother and sister-in-law, and you have to deal with the things they do when they think they can't be seen.”
Vanderbilt Ludlow was frankly afraid to have this conversation with his great-niece, because she had just said in a conversation with her little Ludlow cousins about how their Cousin Midas was making sure her grandparents didn't go broke by kicking back half of what he was embezzling from the company. She didn't know not to be talking about that openly because her grandparents and big cousins in that branch of the family talked about their evils around her openly … and now, Vanderbilt needed to know what else she knew without spoiling the innocence she had left.
“So, I walked up when you were telling our little cousins and their friends about how Cousin Midas was helping out your grandfather, but then I had to go do some phone calls,” he said.
“No, see, Uncle Vanderbilt, you need to call the police, because Cousin Midas is taking it out of the company till and he doesn't have any choice because Grumps has known for ten years and is blackmailing him. There was so much going on I didn't remember until today, but I'm up on the crime stuff now because Cousin George [nine years old, also severely neglected in foster care by folks by then in prison] is going to be a lawyer and has learned so much stuff from Big Cousin Harry's law books!”
That was about when the ginger tea started hitting and Vanderbilt started feeling like he was leaving … when your little niece who has been through it gets together with her little cousin who has been through it and they feel like they have to figure out what crimes are being committed by grown folks …
“The other thing you need to know: Grumps just hates Cousin Archibald, because Archibald won't play ball – but that means you can probably fix up everything with him.”
“You know,” Vanderbilt said, “Cousin Croesus kinda said that.”
“Cousin Croesus is such a creep,” Glendella said. “Even Bad Grandma can't stand him – I mean, not that she likes Grumps but is keeping up appearances – by the way, Uncle Vanderbilt, if Grumps and Cousin Midas go to prison, I need you to not be surprised when Bad Grandma takes the money and runs off with a woman, because Grumps has had so many mistresses that Bad Grandma just decided it was a good idea too.”
“Um, OK,” Uncle Vanderbilt said. “Thanks for the info, Glendella.”
“Now, back to Cousin Croesus – you probably should just go on and call the police on him too because you know how they sent Cousin Janet away when she got pregnant at 15? Well, she can't ever come back to Lofton County because the pictures got back and that poor baby looks just like Cousin Croesus, so then Bad Grandma said he couldn't ever come back to the house and said she would shoot both him and Grumps because she was not going to be a great-grandma in the next five years.”
“Tell you what,” Vanderbilt said. “What else should the police know about, so I can just make one call?”
And Glendella just started talking and talking and talking and talking as her uncle just wrote it all down, and then thanked her and let her go back to sleep while he started having chills – it was more than the tea, after all.
So: Capt. Ludlow went and carefully moved the sleeping little girls into his big loveseat, and then said, “Lie down, Vanderbilt,” and began checking his vitals.
“I just gotta make two phone calls,” Vanderbilt said. “I gotta tell Susanna goodbye, and I gotta call the police – well, no – just give this book to Col. Lee, and he being a police officer now will know what to do.”
“You are going into shock,” Capt. Ludlow said, and then elevated his cousin's legs with the pillow on that end of the couch.
Mrs. Ludlow heard what her husband had said, and so called 911 while the captain went and got Vanderbilt's morning coat to cover him.
“No talking for now, Vanderbilt – just breathe,” Capt. Ludlow said as he loosened his cousin's collar. “Breathe in … 1 … 2 … 3 … 4 … and out … 2 … 3 … 4.”
Tinyville had quick ambulance service because the county had an EMT hub next door in Littleburg; the only problem was that the siren was malfunctioning.
“If that's an ice-cream truck,” oblivious eight-year-old Edwina Ludlow said, “we don't want any because you just know that thing is doing accidental soft-serve!”
Capt. Ludlow rode up to Lofton Dynast Hospital with his cousin, and returned with him in time for dinner – Vanderbilt had been stabilized and released.
“You gotta come sit right by me!” his great-niece Glendella said and immediately dragged him off. “I have fun stuff to tell you too!”
So there he was on the “wrong end of the table” with his great-niece and the little Ludlow cousins that were now her siblings by adoption. Much later that evening, he talked with Capt. Ludlow about that.
“Is that how you grew up in your branch of the family?” he said.
“By no means,” Capt. Ludlow said. “We were definitely seen and not heard, and I was the baby and the child of the second wife on top of that. However, this is how children of the Lees-of-the-Mountain are, and I spent about half of my childhood up there with my Lee grandmother after the foolishness my Slocum-Bolling uncles did when I was five. So, I chose the healing way.”
“The way you turned your Slocum-Bolling uncles in when you remembered,” Vanderbilt said, “is a real inspiration, but so is how you are raising your grandchildren and now Glendella. It means that doing the right thing does lead to getting to the other side of the foolishness in the end for everybody.”
“Not for everybody,” Capt. Ludlow said, “but for those who want to get there.”
“Yeah, well, I'm getting there,” Vanderbilt said. “I've come too far and I've paid too much to turn bck now. I will talk with the police tomorrow. Did you look at my notebook?”
“None of my business without your permission, Vanderbilt.”
Vanderbilt handed him the notebook, and Capt. Ludlow read it.
“Well,” he said as he handed the notebook back, “at least you are going to be able to get most of the troublemakers off the street really soon.”
“Yeah,” Vanderbilt said. “Yeah.”