“Do you ever sit down and think of all the stuff we could be doing with soap?”
Sgt. Vincent Trent was stepping into his house when he heard his nine-year-old son Milton say that to his nine-year-old best friend George Ludlow, and tripped and would have gone flying if not for his 21-year-old firstborn son, Melvin, who caught him.
“Dad!” Melvin cried.
“Milton! George! Soap!” the sergeant said, his mind still behind him.
“Oh, gosh – we're about to be evicted and Pop-Pop owns the property,” Melvin said. “But, Dad, your foot doesn't look good – sit down and rest. I got this.”
Melvin went out to see that Milton was just explaining to George all the ways that soap could be used … and misused .. ways reminiscent of how the two got caught just before using baking soda at the Veteran's Lodge to create their very own winter wonderland.
“Listen, little brothers,” Melvin said. “I was your age 12 years ago, so I get it. It looks like we adults don't even have enough imagination to know what to do with things.”
“Well, at last you know you've gotten boring,” Milton said.
“Yeah, because soap can be amazing if we're not just thinking of cleaning stuff and taking baths,” George said.
“What you need to think about is how you live long enough to get to be boring,” Melvin said, and walked away.
George and Milton thought about this.
“Maybe Melvin has a point,” Milton said.
“Yeah, after thinking about it, I know I'mma die at my house – Papa does not like surprises,” George said.
“Yeah, because Big Mama Velma and Vanna are probably not going to let me survive turning the living room carpet into an everyday slip and slide,” Milton said. “Dad is firm but kinda mellow, but those two?”
“They have some Edwina about them – and that's the other thing,” George said. “I gotta live with her, and although she loves a bubble bath, if she survives the bubble bomb, we're both dead.”
“Boring is kinda sounding good right now,” Milton said.
“Yeah, it is – wanna play Uno?” George said.
“Yeah, let's do that,” Milton said.
Inside, Sgt. Trent's foot was all right, but the shoe had broken.
“Small price to pay – good job, firstborn,” he said to Melvin.
“I don't think we even wanted to hear what the Soapinator 5000 was about to do, Dad,” he said. “I think that was my duty to local humanity. Lofton County is in trouble enough.”