Photo by the author, Deeann D. Mathews
“Sunshine is free, and so is the air, So we'll use it all, and scatter love everywhere!”
“Amanda just sounds so innocent and sweet while being a complete glitter menace with Edwina,” said Mrs. Melissa Trent as she and her husband tried not to laugh as Amanda's explanation went as wrong as it was going to inevitably go.
“So, instead of putting water in water balloons and getting people wet when they don't want to be,” she had been explaining to her grandfather, Capt. R.E. Ludlow, “Eddie and I had a better idea!”
The fact that she was holding at least a dozen blown-up balloons had been what had attracted her grandfather's attention.
“So, we put glitter in them, and shake them up and then – oh no!”
Amanda's grip slipped on one as she was shaking and then she tried to catch it and lost all of them at once – leading to her grandfather's white hair and marble skin suddenly becoming a different metallic hue...
“Um … um … I'm sorry?” Amanda said.
“Well, at least Edwina thought you should use spiritual purple with all that pink,” he said.
“Peaceful pink, actually,” Amanda said, “because real love is spiritual and so it is peaceful and kind and I really hope you believe all that right now!”
“An old father in the Bible, confronted with his son in some trouble, said, 'Lord, I believe – help thou my unbelief!'” Capt. Ludlow said, “and the Lord does. Edwina!”
“Oh – hey, it worked – but, Papa, too much is kinda too much -- I mean, you have blue eyes and that really helps, but that's not quite the balanced fashion statement.”
“It's not his fault – I dropped all the balloons at the same time,” Amanda said. “Maybe Grayson is right and we shoulda blueprinted this to get the scatter part right.”
“Yeah, that definitely acted more like a fire hose – I mean, the coverage is pretty deep, so if you divide that by 10, you still might not get good scatter,” Edwina said. “There's gotta be some math to this, and there's a Grayson to do these things.”
Mrs. Trent had to go into the house, utterly defeated after her husband said, “You know, Gracie still has the record for serving us all downspout coffee to get us God's own water to start our day, but Amanda and Edwina are trying hard to give their grandfather that same level of complete bewilderment … .”
“Hey, Grayson!” Edwina said, and their six-year-old brother who was destined to be Lofton County's greatest civil engineer and architect of the mid-21st century duly appeared and jumped when he saw his grandfather glittering gloriously in pink and purple.
“So, we need you to divide that level of coverage by ten to see if one balloon would have given us the scatter we need,” Edwina said.
“We're trying to scatter love everywhere, so, we chose the peaceful pink and the spiritual purple, and Papa looks good but the scatter part isn't quite right,” Amanda said.
Grayson considered this, and then sighed.
“I would, but this must be what they mean when they say people are worried about the wrong things.”
“Should we have done a blueprint first?” Amanda said.
“More purple?” Edwina said. “I mean, I can change the blend.”
“The only math you need to figure out is how long y'all are going to be grounded for getting into the glitter cabinet when Papa has the key and somehow, still,” Grayson said.
“Oop,” Amanda said.
Capt. Ludlow put out his hand.
“The pick for the lock, Edwina. I know you have those good foster home skills, but I took you out from among those criminals and I am going to take the criminal out of you.”
“But, Papa, we were trying to do something to help spread love,” Amanda said.
“I understand that, but there is something that my mother taught me that I will now teach you: 'the greatest sin and the greatest treason is doing the wrong thing for the right reason.' You can't get good results from a wrong start, Amanda and Edwina – not in the end, and in your cases, not even at the beginning.”
“I'm not even trying to make an excuse because yeah, I did it, and I was wrong – but it seemed right at the moment!” Edwina said as she handed over the hair pins.
“Sin always does,” Capt. Ludlow said. “I've been there myself. It never works in the end, and leads to painful consequences. It is also unnecessary. Sunshine is free, and so is the air, and God Himself is already everywhere … and also both of you sing so beautifully... .”
“Oh, we coulda just done that!” Amanda said as she flopped down on the ground.
“And you can, the day after tomorrow,” Capt. Ludlow said. “You are grounded for one day, Amanda, and you are grounded for two, Edwina, and both your glitter privileges are revoked until further notice.”
“Do you still love us?” Amanda said, her little lip quivering.
“Forever,” Capt. Ludlow said.
“OK, so we can do the time and be all right,” Edwina said.
“I still need a hug!” Amanda said.
“Y'all want to have Grandma yelling at all three of us about tracking glitter through the house?” Capt. Ludlow said.
“Hey, Papa, don't even worry about it that – George and Rob to the rescue!”
Whereupon the nine-year-old and the five-year-old opened up the water hose and started spraying down three of their relatives... but Sgt. Trent hung on until Grayson, who by that time had gone back up to the porch, started shaking his little blond head as Mrs. Thalia Ludlow, ten-year-old Andrew and eleven-year-old Eleanor came out to see what was going on.
“Don't ask me to explain,” Grayson said, “except maybe that not doing a blueprint and not asking for permission at the same time is really a bad idea.”