My earliest memory is of my mother screaming as she tried to throw me out of a second-storey window.
As a child I had this recurring nightmare, hands gripping me under the arms, my feet dangling mid-air with nothing beneath me.
When I asked my mother about it, she brushed it off, said it was just a bad dream. My father, however, was a little more forthcoming. 'She was drunk' he told me by way of explanation. When I pressed my mother again and told her I knew it really happened, she admitted it. 'You just wouldn’t stop crying,' she said. 'I was at my wits’ end.'
Apparently, I’d been crying since the day I was born, and the whiskey she’d slip into my bottle had stopped having the desired effect
I was never much of a dreamer. If I dreamt at all, it was of escaping my parents, convinced that freedom from them would solve all my problems in one fell swoop. I didn’t fantasise about the future, I was far too busy dealing with the demands of the present.
I’ve always thought of myself as a shrinking violet, someone who keeps a low profile to avoid drama. Yet, when trouble comes knocking, I somehow find the nerve to face it head-on.
I’ve had a fair few traumatic experiences in my long life including being detained at airport customs and hauled before UK magistrates and my Dublin home being raided by police. I’ve been libelled by both the Dutch newspapers and television (I should have sued), which culminated in armed police kicking down the door of my Amsterdam holiday rental. I could go on, but I am a woman given to brevity
What surprises me most is that I’ve come through it all relatively unscathed. These days, I feel bulletproof, as if there’s nothing the world can throw at me that I haven’t already deflected or stared down.
Have I ever had a radical thought? No. Not that I recall. My thinking is moderate, conservative. Though I do think that government should be outlawed and anyone even heard to utter the word should be disposed of… humanely of course.
-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.
Posted in response to galenkp's weekend experience
prompt asking "What is earliest childhood memory and why has it stuck with you? Where would you be right now in life (personally or professionally) if you had followed your dreams?What shocks or surprises you about yourself? Explain.
What’s the most radical thought you've had and why?
The images are mine