Hello, friends, continuing the previous publication on How to avoid the most common mistakes in the upbringing of children, here I will mention other mistakes we make when raising our children.
Breaking your own rules
Simple rules are usually the most difficult. For example, many parents teach children to brush their teeth twice a day. But how many of them adhere to this rule? Children prefer to follow a negative example of their parents than a positive one.
This also applies to the simple rules we teach our children: turn off the light when you leave the room, wash your hands before eating, say "thank you" and "please", share our things, etc.
These rules are the basis of discipline, but if you do not follow them yourself, the child will also doubt them.
The first rule to establish the rules is to fulfill them. Parents are an example of role models for the child. Therefore, the child will learn from you, including discipline. Follow the rules that you set for your child.
Show him a good example and explain the importance of such actions. Together, wash your hands before eating, brush your teeth at night, remind your child to turn off the light or say "thank you" or "please." Your company will help your child learn the rules of discipline.
Waiting too long
Sometimes we wait too long for the child to follow a rule. We do not pay attention to the child's disobedience, hoping that sooner or later he will obey. For example, parents often wait too long for the child to wash their shoes after walking. Parents generally differ punishment for bad behavior for a long time.
The child takes his rules lightly and ignores them. Tell the child about the consequences: "If you do not wash your shoes, tomorrow you will have to go to school with your dirty shoes." To better understand the need to do this or that work. Understanding the true consequences, you become more responsible.
Moralization
This is the most common mistake parents make. Prolonged moralization and instructions on how a child should act in certain situations can ruin their relationship with him. Imagine for a moment the boring and useless listening of what you already know, again and again. You can understand this, because you often encounter these situations at work.
Since adults do not like to listen to long monologues with instructions, children stop listening to them somewhere after the third time.
Instead of moralizing, the rules should be discussed with the child. It is important to speak in essence. Remembering the various errors in a child's behavior that happened in the past can make him think he does not appreciate it. In addition, prolonged moralization leads to the fact that the child loses sight of what you want to convey to him.
Therefore, it is better to use dialogue to explain the rules. Ask him about the reasons for his behavior. Give him the opportunity to explain his action and talk to him about how to remedy the situation. The more you let your child feel that he can influence the situation, the more responsible he becomes.
anger education
Anger is your worst enemy, because it prevents you from thinking sensibly. Anger directed at children is the worst mistake parents can make in the educational process. In a fit of anger, you can tell the child what you will later regret. In addition, you can take out your anger on the child when you are not guilty of the situation.
The anger you manifest in raising a child can have long-term consequences. This leads to a child's distrust of you.
Parents must support their children. This helps you overcome obstacles throughout your life. Therefore, to avoid acts of rash, first calm down, put your thoughts in order and then calmly explain your point of view. For example, if a child does not write well a test, it is not necessary to call attention in the presence of a teacher or classmates. You can talk to him when he returns home. It is important that you help your child find a solution to a problem and then help you achieve the desired result.
Parenting without respect
It is easier to demand respect than to show it to others. Parents expect and demand respect from children for themselves and their elders. In this case, they themselves allow a disrespectful treatment to the child. Humiliating a child in the presence of others, using harsh words, only shows disrespectful behavior. If you discover that your child is being rude or disrespectful, you should intervene and understand the reasons for this behavior.
Instead of shouting at the child immediately in the presence of others, pause. Take him away from the crowd and then talk face to face about what happened. Treat your child as an adult and try to understand the situation as an adult. It is important to understand what your child means. Denying the child's point of view will only exacerbate the problem and lead to his misbehavior.
"On the road to raising children, parents face many difficulties and many rewards. Both children and parents are constantly learning and learning something new."
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Posted from my blog with SteemPress : http://deisip67.vornix.blog/2019/03/23/school-for-parents-how-to-avoid-the-most-common-mistakes-in-raising-children-2/