Sign-out O'clock

 Just a week into the exams and I've dropped the undersigned hat? For real? What do they say about things happening like the speed of light? That's the summary of my life in the last two weeks. Before the timetable for my final examinations came out, I'd heard rumours of the exams commencing on the first of September. Somehow, I didn't panic, the reason was that my lecturers hadn't given tests, plus, we still had a lot to cover. But then, they say, expect anything from a typical Nigerian university, right? My exam timetable came out a week before the first of September! When I saw it at first, a part of my heart jumped. If you asked if it was in fear or anticipation, I'd say both. Granted, I've longed for the day that I'd walk out of my school gate as a graduate, but for the first time, I had mixed emotions, unsure whether to tag the phase a season of celebration or of anxiety. I can't say how it worked, but I soon found myself switching into a season I call the dance of celebration. Like I'll tell my friends in the pidgin language, “*Make I no celebrate keh?”* While I burned midnight candles for the exams, I also ensured to get myself high in celebration. If I was not dancing to a song of thanksgiving, then I was dancing to an imaginary beat. Even my ringtone was changed to a graduation song. My neighbours could feel my ecstasy through the loud music blaring from my room every day, screams of joy when on a call, songs of rejoicing at midnight. The exams commenced fully. Pressure? Very high. Anxiety? My second name. But despite that, I decided not to let the fear of ‘after sign-out, what next’ ruin the moment. And just within the twinkling of an eye, I was left with only a paper. That night, I think I became drunk with excitement that I almost lost my senses. Believe me when I say it took all the willpower to study for the next day's exam. Congratulatory messages poured in. I had different heart-melting epistles from friends, family and mentors. I still can't believe that I, a studious and focused student, would find it hard to concentrate during the final exam. My head kept swirling in different directions while in the exam hall. ‘Certainly, Kcee should probably have my gift ready by now.’ ‘I'm not sure if STJ has anything for me this time, since he's had a lot of projects.’ ‘My mentor won't disappoint. I know.’ These words were in the head of a student writing a tough exam. Eventually, I coordinated myself and began scribbling. The exam ended at some minutes past five p.m., and the celebration commenced fully. The energy outside was on another level — friends and families were positioned at different corners, bearing gifts of portraits, cakes, money bouquets and wines. My friends were signing on my white T-shirt when I heard my name from behind. I turned to see Martha, a hundred-level student.  Martha rushed into my embrace, jumping and screaming like she was the one celebrating. “Aww, congratulations, ma. You look so beautiful,” she beamed. She pulled away, handing me a bottle of Veleta wine. “STJ asked me to give you this.” I laughed, not because it was funny, but because STJ succeeded in pulling the surprise. I hugged her again. “Martha, thank you for coming and thank you for this.” Martha left after we'd taken some shots. I walked around to join in the celebration with my coursemates, as we beamed helplessly, took numerous shots, gave and received gifts, signed on different whites, and the list goes on. At past six p.m., I became so exhausted that I could pass for a labourer who'd worked all day. I said my goodbyes to my coursemates and boarded a motorcycle (bike) home with the intention of going home, jumping on my bed and sleeping till the next day. But my mentor's call came in immediately. “My amazing Delight,” his voice sounded more fulfilled now. “I'm glad that this day has finally come to reality. I know how long we've waited and prayed. Congratulations, my darling.” “Thank you, Sir,” I said, crying and laughing simultaneously. “We will talk properly later. But while I let you go on with the celebration, I need you to wrap it up with a special time for yourself. I've sent you some money, go get yourself grilled chicken and any drink of your choice. Take your time and celebrate yourself today; you have done well.”  My mentor's words almost melted my heart. And yes, I opened my bank app and found the money sitting pretty in my account. I got home, dropped my gifts, and found my way out again. I said to myself. “Delight, I'm proud of you.” As I waited for my grilled chicken, I began to have different thoughts. After sign-out, what's next? And I knew I had the answer that moment. I've always been intentional about life, paying my bills myself, seeking growth and personal development. So after sign-out, I'll have more time to focus on building myself, becoming the best version of myself.  Yes, no pressure tonight, none ever. *All images are mine.*