What do we all want, in life?
What is is we truly hope for, behind all the facades and masks we wear, in order to present a socially acceptable front towards the world?
When I was a kid, I watched my dad go to work. He was the CEO of a small manufacturing plant; responsible for the management and operations of some 200 people. It was — by all measures — a good job.
But he was not happy; he did what was expected of him; what was expected of a solid upstanding citizen; what was expected of a "family man."
What actually made him happy was restoring antique furniture and old paintings. That's when he was in his element, even if he didn't have much time for it.
As I recall it, he was almost a different person when we worked with his antiques.
Even when I was 11-12 years old, I remember watching that dichotomy between what you had to to, and what you wanted to do. And — in my 12-year old brain — it baffled me that we lived in a world where people couldn't be authentic and make their living from what they wanted to do.
I'm not talking about just wanting to sit on your arse and suck your thumb; I'm talking about the pursuit of those passions and activities that make you authentically happy.
When did we decide those didn't have sufficient value to the world, other than to be a side show?
I remember feeling almost resentful — on behalf of my dad — for how he was forced to live his life.
I think it influenced me to set forth into the world with the objective of trying to live a more authentic life, rather than a prescribed one.
And, truthfully, I mostly did; I mostly have. And I discovered the flipside of the coin my dad was also part of... that there's a reason(?) why most authentic pursuits end up as sidelines. Not that they aren't valid or honorable, but that they are mostly not compensated.
Which opened up a whole can of worms I wrangled extensively with in my 20's of why "work" so often is only considered "valid" if we dislike it and would just as well be almost anywhere else in the world but at work.
Now, before some of you get your knickers in a twist, there are exceptions! People enjoy their work. But they tend to be exceptions; rarities; anomalies.
Thinking back to my dad and his two states of being, it reminds me that most work tends to be dehumanizing, and maybe that is at the root of our dislike.
We work at things we are not in charge of, that we do not set the process for, and that we are disconnected from because as soon as we finish "producing" the product immediately belongs to someone else (the company, our bosses). And we have no connection to the person who will use the product/service, either. And — very likely — the product/service might not even be something we are likely to use/need, ourselves.
When restoring paintings, my dad had a clear and defined purpose, and he was in charge of the process. And when he sold the painting, he was connected directly to a collector or art enthusiast who was delighted to have the piece... which my dad got to experience, first hand. And he loved art, so what we was working with was relevant to his life, as well.
In other words, he enjoyed a great deal of sovereignty over what he was doing.
Bringing the bunny back around, most people don't have the luxury of choosing to live and work authentically, because we're too busy perpetually falling off a financial cliff consisting of all the eternal "expenses" associated with most lives. As such, we end up typically doing what we can afford, more than what we like.
Ironically, as consumers, we are just as removed from the product we are using, as the alienated workers who made the product. We call that (usually) the benefit of economies of scale; and — for financial reasons — it's why we end up getting things from Amazon and Walmart, rather than our neighbor or even a local producer.
When I say I chose a high level of authenticity, I also chose that sensation of perpetually falling off the proverbial financial cliff.
In retrospect, I'm not 100% certain it was worth it, even though it has mostly been a pretty good life!
Thanks for stopping by and have a wonderful Sunday!
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