Sometimes there are aspects of our world that scare me ~~a little bit~~ quite considerably.
A while back, I might have mentioned that our middle son — now in his mid-30s — has been getting a little more active on the dating scene.
At that time I was talking about how he had been going to a few so-called "speed dating" events, having absolutely no success, and then subsequently learning from a friend that many — if not most — of the women in attendance were actually paid actors with no intention of dating anyone, but who had been hired to show up so that the male attendees would pay for the participation fee, and at least have the illusion that they were actively trying to find someone.
Pretty sketchy practice, if you're ask me!
A lot of what he's subsequently been experiencing out there is both frightening and a little demoralizing.
If you follow along in societal trends at all, you might have come across various articles and videos talking about the trouble many young people today are having and finding somebody to spend their life with. It's even a crisis, according to some.
Some of what I've come across makes me glad that I'm not part of that scene anymore!
One of the scariest statistics I came across the other day shared the results of a fairly broad based survey that had been done among single women aged between 21 and 40. What was rather remarkable about it was that only about one quarter of respondents ranked such things as ”love” and ”connection” and "companionship" among the top 10 attributes they were looking for in a partner.
The leading requirements of a life mate seemed to be mostly related to finances, social status and lifestyle, often at levels that automatically would rule out 99% of the population.
Looking at the whole thing seemed a little bit like going back to high school when 16 year old girls would list ”on the football team” and ”has a cool car” as the primary reason to date a guy.
Of course unrealistic expectations also seem to be running rampant with most women under the age of 40 looking for the attributes only about 1% of the single male populations possess. Meanwhile, most young men like our son are feeling increasingly disenfranchised. Hard not to, if you're disqualified before you even get to the starting line!
The subtext here also feels rather transactional in nature... in an icky sort of way.
Of course prospects — and the entire process of dating and mating — are also being reduced by the reality that meeting someone "organically" has become more and more difficult.
Middle Son is not inclined to approach anyone in case he's accused of harassment or thought a "creep."
Which, of course, he's not!
The irony of it is that modern technology and the web allegedly makes us more connected than ever before... and yet more and more people are alone and struggling to connect.
Then again, maybe it's the whole "swipe culture" that's the issue... the illusion that there's an ocean of choices resulting in people putting less effort into actually getting to know someone.
All we can do is hope for a small miracle!
Thanks for stopping by and have a great remainder of your week!
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