I've sometimes had this feeling that I'm a bit old. I tell myself I'm going to train to surpass all the younger players who have surpassed me, but it seems like no matter what I do, they'll be one step ahead of me.
I experienced that in this last Classic tournament I played. After a couple of Blitz tournaments where I did very well, this seemed like a tournament where I would showcase my knowledge a bit.
But I've found that I know much less than I thought, or at least I'm playing much slower than the other players and I can't concentrate at all.
Several of these games I've realized that when I move on from the opening phase, I run out of ideas to advance. Before, I had attacking plans or a feeling that the position was unbalanced, but now I just feel like I'm wandering and wasting time in positions where I don't really know what to do.
The Italian, for example, which is one of my favorite openings, I'm realizing that if they play me relatively simply, I can't generate a consistent attack to overthrow my opponent. It's frustrating in a way.
In other openings, especially those I'm unfamiliar with, I always find myself at a disadvantage in the slow tempos, as if on one hand I had the attacking plan in my head, but some simple move slipped through the net, and suddenly I find myself two or three moves down.
It's frustrating to a certain extent. It seems that age doesn't spare anyone. The workload, the lack of rhythm on the board. It's hard to see how teenage boys can sell me so easily.
I hope I have the strength to recover and return to my usual levels. I have 1950 in the Clasico, but that will quickly fade if I don't get good results.