Sometimes many of us find it very hard to say no. It seems like a burden to us. It feels like we are walking in a tight group if you want to be kind, if you want to be liked. Sometimes when you agree to everything, it leaves you feeling like you are unimportant and you don’t have a say in yourself. I’ve learned this lesson, this sad lesson, years ago, and when I started saying no, it changed how I viewed myself, how people began to see me, and how they began to take my decisions as very important.
It was a moment where I was very busy. I had a very busy period at work, and the project I was embarking on had a deadline that was drawing near. A colleague, someone I really admire so much, asked me to take on an extra job for him. It was an opportunity of giving a presentation for a big client in the company.
At first, I was happy, but due to my packed calendar, it was not possible to put that in my schedule. I was already handling some complex tasks that I needed to complete before the deadline. Also, I had some family commitments, some personal goals I had to achieve, and there was a little business plan I was trying to set up. Everything was so complex, and I was feeling like I couldn’t handle it.
As a people pleaser years back, said yes because I wanted to prove I could do it all. After deliberating and after all the sleepless nights, I decided to say no, although I was so afraid that saying no would make my colleague not trust me, not respect me, or not give me any other project again. But I was ready for this disappointment and did not care about the judgment, so I decided to tell her no.
She thanked me for the honesty and said she respected my decision. She also said that she had been in a similar situation and understood why I couldn’t take on the task. At that moment, I was so relieved.
When I said no, it was me trying to protect my time and energy, allowing me to focus on what really matters to me and doing my best for myself. I didn’t have to burn myself out just to please others because I will take good care of myself and believe in myself. When I said that no, I felt so empowered. I never knew it was so easy like this.
That moment and that experience always taught me that saying no is not about being selfish. It’s about protecting your time, valuing yourself, and allowing others to see how they view you. These lessons have stayed with me. When you say no, you are preserving your self-respect. It’s not about those limits and the value of your well-being. It is always about how you value yourself.
Have the courage and clarity to say no to what does not benefit you or what is not among the most important things that help you grow. At the moment you are not just declining a request, you are showing others that you only say yes to what really matters to you, and people will respect you for that. You are telling them to say yes, not out of habit or trying to please others.
Ask yourself, what am I sacrificing, my time, to do this? be deliberate about why you say no. Know those things you want to do will not benefit you and how they will harm you. In that moment, you build more balance and live a fulfilling life.
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