Forgiving and forgetting is a very controversial topic. I have heard different opinions on the topic and seriously I can't say anyone is right or wrong on the matter.
We are humans, we come from different backgrounds, we have different beliefs, different ways of thinking and different characters.
Some people love talking while others don't. Some are good at keeping secrets while others can't. Some people are neat while others ain't, some gossip, while others don’t.
Living in society with people who are entirely different from each other in terms of traits, beliefs and so on, can be a bit complicated and as such the possibility of offending each other is high.
Each of us has offended people before and there is every possibility that it will happen again. We are frail creatures, we are bound to make mistakes but those mistakes are expected to shape us into better versions of ourselves and not to empower our frailty.
Offense can come in different ways, betrayal of trust, disobedience, crossing boundaries and so on. Of the truth, being offended hurts.
We are created with emotions, certain things have the ability to tamper with our feelings which can lead to pain.
But knowing that we are humans, and making mistakes are bound to occur, we are also expected to cultivate the habit of forgiveness.
It is so sad that to some individuals forgiveness is not a living thing. Once you go off limits, they will pounce on you and ensure you never forget that experience in your lifetime.
Some will forgive you but will never let go of the memory, each time you make a slight mistake, they quickly remind you of what you have once done.
Some, however, will forgive you and and also let it go completely as though you never wronged them at all. But those in this category are few.
The truth is, you won't blame anyone for whatever they believe in forgiveness and how they handle it. I know we are humans, we are supposed to love one another, and to forgive and forget.
One thing we must put at the back of our mind is forgiveness is a choice. It is not easy for one to be wronged and then we expect them to just forgive and let go as if nothing happened.
They have feelings too. Mind you, some people do certain things intentionally repeatedly and expect forgiveness and everything to be thrown behind.
If someone forgives you, it is their choice, if they do not it is their choice and the offender has no right to be angry. Forgiveness is not anyone's right. If it is given to you, it is a privilege.
**Can Forgiveness Exist Without Forgetting?**
For me, the answer is yes. Come to think of it, do we really forget wrongs done to us? At one point or another, we will surely be reminded of that thing even if we say we have forgotten the act.
We might not remind the person about it, you might never talk about it again but inside of you, once in a while it will still pop up.
I believe in forgiveness, when people wrong me, they do not even need to apologize before I forgive them but I don't forget the act.
I will not use it to fight you again but I'll use it as a lesson to know how to interact with you.
I know you might not like my opinion. Life is funny, something done once can be done again. I feel it's wisdom to not forget that thing by learning from it.
I am not saying we should be mean or always keep records of wrongs and allow them to keep disturbing our peace, no. What I mean by not forgetting is to learn from the wrong.
For instance, you have a friend who always discusses your secrets with others, when you discover it, forgive the person, interact with the person like you used to but never discuss a crucial issue with such a person even if they swore that they have repented.
You are not being mean, of course you have forgiven them but you have learned from it.
**Can You Really Say You Have Moved On When You Have Not Forgotten?**
My answer is yes. I know people are different but for me, once I say I have forgiven you, it is a done deal. I will never bring up the issue again.
But I will be careful in the area you offended me, not just with you but with everyone.
I don't see anything useful in wasting our time and repeatedly bringing up what is already gone. If you keep that matter in your heart, and keep bringing it up, then obviously you have not really forgiven. It is as simple as that.
-------
N.B: All Images Were Generated By Meta AI
------