There is a slang in my country that says adulthood na scam, if we know that adulthood will be so demanding and tasking I bet most of us would prefer not to leave the teenage stage, looking back to twenty years ago things were so affordable, life were so pleasant to live, nothing to think about, my parents are still responsible for everything, I would wake to see something to eat not now that I would sit and think for five to six hours before I can conclude on what to eat, life as at fifteen years back was so reliable and relieved.
I remember back then I was a little girl full of energy and dreams of what I want to become, I had my plans laid down, it was as if I had seen the future, the plan of becoming what I want without any obstacles was all over my head, I was still a daddy's girl, those years I thought life is so simple and with time everything would fall into place naturally not knowing that we need to struggle to attain the greater height.
Gradually things started changing as we climb more ladder of another age, responsibilities started to throw in, some days you will have to deal with fake friends and rumour while other days you need to be alone with your thoughts when things finally didn't work the way we analyze it, Over the years, many things happened that forced me to grow, friendships I thought would last forever ended. Some doors I prayed for never opened. As human I have made mistakes that left scars and I had victories that push me to keep going with every experience I became stronger in ways I did not even notice at the time. I learned silence when I wanted to shout. I learned to walk away even when my heart wanted to stay.
If my younger self walked into the room today, she would probably stare at me with questions in her eyes. She might ask, “When did you become so careful? When did your laughter become softer? When did you start carrying so much inside?” And I would want to tell her, “I did not plan this. Life happened. Pain happened. But strength also happened.”
If I should say something about who I am not I know I am a different person completely, I am no longer the person I used to be, life has happened to me many times, I had fought some battles and won and lose some, I now have scars that reminds me of the past and what I had been through, I had won some victories that keep me going and learned never to give up on myself, though my younger time was fun but we must move forward to be a complete human.
Sometimes, I do miss the old version of me. The girl who laughed without worrying about tomorrow, who dreamed without fear of failure. But then I remember that without change, I would not have grown. Without pain, I would not have known strength. Without disappointments, I would not have learned patience and without heartbreak, I would not have discovered how important it is to love myself.
ALL THE PICTURES ARE MINE
This is my entry to this episode of Hivelearners community prompt of #hl-w183e02 which the topic is tagged WHO ARE YOU?
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