Unrealistic standards are expectations that go beyond what real people can truly meet, I would love to talk about relationship / marriage, in relationships and marriage, they are the ideas society forces on us about what a perfect partner or perfect union should look like, these standards often forget that everyone is different and no one can meet every demand placed on them, it is fine to have preferences but it becomes a problem when people start chasing an image that doesn’t even exist in real life.
Society paints a picture of how relationships should be, It tells you the kind of person to marry, how much money they should have, how they should behave, and even how your marriage should look to others, It’s like everyone is following the trend because there is pressure everywhere.
Social media is even doing more harm than good when it comes to relationship and marriage, every day we see couples showing off their vacations, matching outfits, expensive gifts, and perfect smiles, people scroll through those pictures and begin to question their own relationships, They start wondering, “Why isn’t my partner doing the same?” but what most people forget is that no one posts their bad moments online, no one shows the nights they cried or the arguments they had, what we see is just the surface, not the full story.
For women, the pressure can be overwhelming, society expects them to be perfect wives, good mothers, hard workers, and still look beautiful every day, when a woman complains or feels tired, she’s quickly judged, people say things like, “Isn’t that what you signed up for?” or “Other women are doing it, why can’t you?” For men too, the pressure is real, they are expected to always provide, always be strong, and never show weakness, many men silently battle stress and financial struggles but hide it because they don’t want to appear like failures.
There was a woman in my old neighborhood who constantly compared her husband to her friend’s, her friend’s husband had a flashy car and often posted pictures of them traveling or going out for dinner, meanwhile, her own husband was a teacher who did his best to provide for the family, the woman started nagging, saying her husband wasn’t romantic or doing enough but one day, she found out that her friend’s marriage was full of fights and unhappiness, that was when she realized not everything that shines is gold, what looks perfect on the outside may not be peaceful on the inside.
Another wrong belief people hold is that love alone keeps marriage strong, love is beautiful but it’s not enough on its own, relationships take communication, understanding, and a lot of patience, when bills start piling up, when differences come up, or when life gets hard, it takes more than just love to hold things together, real love means staying when it’s tough, not just when everything is smooth.
There’s also the pressure of getting married at a certain age, society makes some people especially women, feel like they’re running late once they clock 30, that pressure makes some rush into marriages they’re not ready for, and later they will regret and realize it’s better to marry right than to marry early.
It’s time we stop letting society decide what our relationships should look like, every couple has their own path, what works for one may not work for another. Love shouldn’t be a competition, it should be about peace, growth, and understanding.
This is my response to this episode of Hivelearners community prompt of #hl-w188e03 which the topic is tagged UNREALISTIC STANDARDS
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