When it comes to raising children it takes grace of God to know how to handle children and as parent you must protect your children and at the same time you do not have to choke them unlike our Africa parents, they are overprotective with too many rules and this tells so much on many of us while growing up, we must learn how to balance our act by protecting our children and also give them their privacy when needed
When children are small, privacy is almost nothing to them. You bathe them, dress them, feed them, even follow them around. They don’t even think of shutting the door or keeping secrets. Their whole life is open, and you as the parent see everything. At that stage, it feels normal to keep doors open and check on them often.
But then, things begin to change as they grow older. The same child that used to tell you everything suddenly wants space, they shut their doors, keep diaries, ask for personal time, and sometimes even set passwords on their phones, the first time you notice it, you might feel uncomfortable. You start to wonder what they are hiding.
I think kids do need privacy, but not in the sense of total freedom, they need it because it helps them build trust in themselves, it makes them feel like they are growing, and that their thoughts and feelings are respected, at the same time, privacy without guidance can be dangerous, children don’t always know how to handle everything they come across, especially in this world of social media and peer pressure.
Growing up, I remember my own parents hardly gave us privacy. The doors were open, and my mother asked endless questions, at that time, i thought she was too much, i just wanted her to leave me alone sometimes, but now as an adult, I understand, she was only trying to protect us, the world has so many traps, and parents fear their children might fall into them.
So how do we balance it? In my opinion i believe it starts with honest conversation, if a teenager wants privacy, sit them down and explain that privacy comes with responsibility, a closed door is not a bad thing if the child is trustworthy. A phone is not evil if you talk openly about how to use it wisely. The problem comes when privacy turns into secrecy.
I also believe that setting boundaries should be one of the important move a parent can use in raising their kids, privacy should not mean total negligence or independence, I believe a child can have their room but you should have access to it as a parent, you should enter when necessary, also they can have their phone but once in a while check the phone and know the type of conversation they engage on it, your children should be open for discussion about what they sees online not hiding from you so that way, you are not invading, but watching out for them.
I believe privacy is necessary for kids, but it should be given in small steps, too much control makes them feel trapped, and too much freedom can expose them to harm, the balance is in the middle allowing them to grow while still guiding them. Parenting is never about being perfect, it’s about loving, watching, and adjusting as they change.
This is my response to this episode of Hivelearners community prompt of #hl-w185e02 which the topic is tagged KIDS AND PRIVACY
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