I still remember the day I realized I had missed it. The admission I had dreamed about, the one my friend and I got, and told myself, "My dad would pay for this" and I would be a student of Obafemi Awolowo University, little did I know that it had quietly closed its doors while I was still debating whether to resume with the rest of the students or resume a week after resumption. It wasn’t the fact that I couldn't attend the university that stung the most; it was the fact that my friend was going to leave me behind. While my friend celebrated her payment of the tuition fee, I sat there in my room, wishing my dad had the money to make my dream come true.
This happened many years ago, after I had just finished my senior secondary school. Many of my friends with whom we finished together had already gained admission into the university of their choice. I was very happy for them because it was a sign that I would be getting into the university soon. I waited and waited, but it felt like the god giving out admission had overlooked me. One year becomes two, and two went to three. I was becoming desperate and sad at the same time.
The third year came, and I decided not to bother with giving the university another chance. I was in my room when I had a knock on my door.
"Knock Knock, I hope you are inside the room," the voice said, and immediately I recognized the voice. It was the voice of a girl I had a crush on, "Tayo."
Tayo was a very beautiful and smart lady, she was also waiting for her admission, and since we had the same problem, we bonded more. She knew I liked her, and she made it very easy for me to talk to her.
“Come in. I don’t have to invite you in every time you come,” I said, trying to sound cheerful, though inside, I felt drained.
Tayo walked in with her usual smile, carrying that calm energy she always had. She pulled a chair closer and sat down. For a moment, she just looked at me like she was studying my face.
“You’ve been avoiding me,” she said softly.
I shrugged. “Not really. I’ve just… given up. Admission isn’t for me. Maybe I’m not meant to go to school.”
She leaned forward. “Don’t say that. You and I both know that’s not true. You’re smart. You just need to try again.”
I laughed bitterly. “Try again? Tayo, this is my third year of trying. Do you know how it feels to watch everyone else move on, while you’re still here, stuck?”
Her smile faded, and she sighed. “I know how it feels. I’m still here too, remember? But giving up won’t change anything. One more try won’t kill you. What if this is the time it works?”
I looked away, staring at the wall. “And if it doesn’t?”
She placed her hand gently on mine. “Then at least you’ll know you tried. Don’t let fear make give up"
Does words sank into my mind, and then I decided not to give up. After discussing for a little while, we decided to take a walk. As we stepped out of the room, Tayo turned to me with that mischievous smile of hers. She said she was planning to give Obafemi Awolowo University another try, that she wasn’t ready to let the first rejection be the end of the road. Then she looked at me and asked, almost as if daring me, why I couldn’t do the same.
I laughed, trying to mask the weight in my chest, and told her maybe she was right, maybe I should give OAU a shot too. She clapped her hands in excitement and said it would be amazing if we both ended up in the same school, even as classmates. The thought of it made me blush as we both laughed as we walked down the street in search of snacks.
Shortly after the admission form came out, my dad lost his job and it was a terrible time for the family. We still had some funds, and with the hope of getting a new job, my dad got the school form for me and I did the exams. I kept checking the school portal like I was waiting for the second coming of Christ. I was so anxious, following news about the school on all social media I could find.
Then, one night while we were eating, I heard Tayo screaming my name.
"Fash, Fash. I have gotten the admission. I am now a student of OAU." I rushed outside to meet her, I was celebrating with her when I discovered I haven't checked mine, I immediately rushed inside the house to get my phone. Before I could turn, I saw her inside with me. Everywhere was so silent as I check my portal, after checking it I raised my head up, stare at everyone face then screamed.
"I got the admission too"
Everywhere was ringing with joyful noise but the following day, the joy in me died. After checking the tuition fee, and all the requirement, the sum for half a million was required for me to resume as a fresher. I knew this was an amount we couldn't raise in the family and we were already in debt for us to go take in more debt.
We tried raising the amount but there was no possible way. One of my dad friend even offered to give my dad the money and said he would be needing it in two months, but that was a risk he wasn’t ready to take. I watched as every effort failed and my hope sank deeper.
As time went by, Tayo asked me about the payment because her dad had paid for her, but I told her, “I guess I would miss the boat.” I smiled when I said it, but deep down, my chest was heavy. The fact that I got the admission meant there was still hope, but watching it slip away was a pain I carried in silence.
Still, life had its way of turning things around. Missing that boat didn’t mean I was destined to drown. Instead, it pushed me to look elsewhere, to fight harder, and to believe that the path meant for me would open in its own time.
Today, I’m a graduate with different degrees, and life has been so good. Sometimes, I think back to that moment and realize that missing the boat wasn’t the end, it was only the beginning of another journey. Not all closed doors mean defeat; some simply redirect us to where we truly belong.
The End.
Thanks for reading. My name is Fashtioluwa.
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