The sun is setting on a particular stage of my life and a new one is beginning. That's a bit melodramatic but I needed to start this post off in a way that relates to the image .. even if just a little.. Its true, though, I am about to start something new.
Recently someone told me there was an opportunity at another department at the university I work at and if I was interested in the details. I've been in the same department for 10 years and hell yes! I am ready for a new opportunity. Higher Education doesn't pay well, but a new gig with more money is nothing to be sniffed at. Well the details came in, its covering for someone that is on long term sick leave and has been away for almost a year already.
Finally the projects that were placed on hold cannot be held much longer, they want me to swoop in for a 6 month secondment and get the project rolling. I figured, 'sure, no problem i can do that.. I have dabbled in project management a few times on not insignificant projects'.
Well the damned thing is two pay grades higher than my current job and i'd be operating essentially at my boss's level, and I am starting TOMORROW. So I have been preparing. I took speaker Bercow's advice
and have been a good boy. Studying, looking up skills training courses that will help me (I am woefully under-skilled for this position) and quietly pissing my pants as an angry voice in my head yells "YOU KNOW NOTHING JOHN SNOW". I don't actually know all that much about what I will be walking into tomorrow but it has me super nervous and I keep thinking about the old saying "fake it 'till you make it". I suppose in a way that is true.. most people walk into a new job not knowing what they are doing and learn as they go.
I was speaking to an old friend on the phone last night who said that everyone is BSing their way through life. He said that years ago he had a conversation with his dad where he asked him "Is everyone just bullshitting their way through life? Is it true that no one actually really knows what they are doing?" After a short pause he answer "yes." That was a turning point for him, where this realisation helped him to stop worrying or stressing and to just go for the things he wanted, take chances and give everything a try.
After all, if no know one really knows what they are doing then what does it matter? You can just make it up as you go along, everyone does it.
I don't think that is a universal truth though. There are certain jobs or at least specific tasks that you cannot fake, you need to be able to perform those with competence. I'm not sure if I feel any better or any less nervous, but talking to him about that did help a bit
Have you ever felt like that? Completely out of your depth? Have you ever 'faked it' till you made it? How did that work out? I think I must have done it once or twice when starting new jobs, but I was probably so ignorant of my own abilities that I didn't realised I was out of my depth until after I had learned the skills on the job.. unfortunately I am less ignorant now.
Oh man.. what a lengthy ramble! I apologise and thank you for sticking with this post all the way to the end.. as a reward I have put in a picture of a nice pair of tits for you to enjoy:
http://www.nationalgeographic.com
..and in case you were wondering, searching for a 'pair of tits' for a joke like this should not be done while at work. Oops.
Thanks for Looking.
Follow me and read more of my posts here: @fiftysixnorth
