No hay una única respuesta. Las circunstancias de cada persona son tan variadas que intentar definir un sentido claro para conciliar el vínculo y la autonomía, podría ser contraproducente o inútil al momento de ofrecer una solución. Imponer una única fórmula o expectativa sobre cómo deben coexistir la cercanía y la individualidad, ignora la complejidad de cada ser humano y de cada relación. A esto se suma el hecho de que las personas pueden tomar decisiones que, involuntariamente, les generen un resultado desfavorable o equivocado, encendiendo el arrepentimiento o la culpa. Ahora bien, considerando estas dificultades y los riesgos asociados, **¿cómo discernir si el camino compartido nos fortalece o nos debilita por dentro?**
>! [English version ]
>There is no single answer. Each person's circumstances are so varied that attempting to define a clear meaning for reconciling connection and autonomy could be counterproductive or useless when offering a solution. Imposing a single formula or expectation on how closeness and individuality should coexist ignores the complexity of each human being and each relationship. Added to this is the fact that people can make decisions that, unintentionally, lead to an unfavorable or wrong outcome, sparking regret or guilt. Now, considering these difficulties and the associated risks, **how can we discern whether the shared path strengthens or weakens us inside?**
[](https://www.pexels.com/es-es/foto/cuerda-marron-enredada-y-formada-en-forma-de-corazon-sobre-riel-de-madera-marron-113737/)
Uno puede, de buena fe o por defecto, intentar construir los mejores vínculos. Se puede conocer a alguien y, en las etapas iniciales, las interacciones pueden marchar bastante bien, pero posteriormente pueden convertirse en un dolor de cabeza. Y esto puede ocurrir de forma inesperada. En este escenario, puede existir la esperanza de que las cosas retomen la misma calidez o jovialidad similar al punto inicial de la relación, por el bien de la misma. Sin embargo, no hay resultados preestablecidos ni garantizados, porque aquí entra en juego el comportamiento cooperativo de las personas, incluyendo sus propios defectos y virtudes.
Además, no todas las personas tienen la inteligencia emocional tan desarrollada como para discernir la mejor manera para intentar mejorar la relación, de modo que no se convierta en un esfuerzo burdo o banal. De hecho, en la misma relación una persona puede tener una comprensión más madura y la otra no, lo que demuestra que este entendimiento mutuo para mejorar la relación no está "preestablecido". En consecuencia, la relación puede llegar a un punto, dirigiéndose hacia un lado, en el que, inevitablemente, afloren las disputas o desacuerdos. Aquí la situación se complica, porque la relación puede quedar en una delgada línea ambigua, de complicaciones o de estancamiento, donde la mente se ancla y regresa una y otra vez a la misma delimitación: el "nosotros" de la vida en pareja, que crece y se alimenta día tras día, mientras lentamente se va desvaneciendo lo que nos hace únicos y libres: **la autonomía individual.**
>! [English version ]
>One can, in good faith or by default, try to build the best relationships. You can meet someone and, in the early stages, interactions may go quite well, but later they can become a headache. And this can happen unexpectedly. In this scenario, there may be hope that things will return to the same warmth or cheerfulness as at the beginning of the relationship, for the sake of the relationship itself. However, there are no pre-established or guaranteed results, because this is where people's cooperative behavior comes into play, including their own flaws and virtues.
>Furthermore, not everyone has the emotional intelligence to discern the best way to try to improve the relationship, so that it does not become a crude or trivial effort. In fact, in the same relationship, one person may have a more mature understanding and the other may not, which shows that this mutual understanding to improve the relationship is not “pre-established.” Consequently, the relationship may reach a point, heading in one direction, where disputes or disagreements inevitably arise. Here the situation becomes complicated, because the relationship can remain on a thin, ambiguous line of complications or stagnation, where the mind anchors itself and returns again and again to the same delimitation: the “we” of life as a couple, which grows and feeds day after day, while slowly fading away is what makes us unique and free: **individual autonomy.**
 [](https://www.pexels.com/es-es/foto/blanco-y-negro-hombre-modelo-maqueta-11640908/)
>Furthermore, not everyone has the emotional intelligence to discern the best way to try to improve the relationship, so that it does not become a crude or trivial effort. In fact, in the same relationship, one person may have a more mature understanding and the other may not, which shows that this mutual understanding to improve the relationship is not “pre-established.” Consequently, the relationship may reach a point, heading in one direction, where disputes or disagreements inevitably arise. Here the situation becomes complicated, because the relationship can remain on a thin, ambiguous line of complications or stagnation, where the mind anchors itself and returns again and again to the same delimitation: the “we” of life as a couple, which grows and feeds day after day, while slowly fading away is what makes us unique and free: **individual autonomy.**
 [](https://www.pexels.com/es-es/foto/blanco-y-negro-hombre-modelo-maqueta-11640908/)
Imagina que esa persona, en este momento, no está a tu lado… ¡Ah! Puedes sentir la incomodidad, como si la vida se te escapara de las manos por un segundo… Pero es el hecho mismo de pensar en el "nosotros", en el vínculo que formamos con la otra persona y que, indudablemente, constituye una experiencia significativa en nuestra vida que no podemos desprendernos tan fácilmente. Aquí está, precisamente, el punto en el que podemos empezar a reconocer nuestras limitaciones o lo que podemos ser fuera del hecho de tener una vida compartida con otra persona.
Reconocer esto, para posteriormente actuar, puede ser sano tanto individualmente como para el vínculo. Me refiero a que, desde tu individualidad, posiblemente tengas asuntos por resolver o superar, o al menos, saber cómo manejar, para que no dañen la relación que tengas con la otra persona. Pero la introspección hacia el interior no solo busca proteger el vínculo, sino también nutrir tu propio ser: ¿Qué hay de tus sueños y tu propio potencial de crecimiento? ¿Qué estás dispuesto a ajustar, a limitar o a dejar de lado por tu propio bien? ¿Qué tipo de relación quieres y qué quieres para ti mismo?
>! [English version]
>Imagine that person is not by your side right now... Ah! You can feel the discomfort, as if life were slipping through your fingers for a second... But it is the very fact of thinking about “us,” about the bond we form with another person, which undoubtedly constitutes a meaningful experience in our lives that we cannot easily let go of. This is precisely the point where we can begin to recognize our limitations or what we can be outside of sharing our lives with another person.
>Recognizing this, in order to act later, can be healthy both individually and for the bond. I mean that, from your individuality, you may have issues to resolve or overcome, or at least know how to handle, so that they do not damage your relationship with the other person. But introspection is not only about protecting the bond, but also about nurturing your own being: What about your dreams and your own potential for growth? What are you willing to adjust, limit, or let go of for your own good? What kind of relationship do you want, and what do you want for yourself?
 [](https://www.pexels.com/es-es/foto/manos-jugando-emocionante-moviendo-9785586/)
>Recognizing this, in order to act later, can be healthy both individually and for the bond. I mean that, from your individuality, you may have issues to resolve or overcome, or at least know how to handle, so that they do not damage your relationship with the other person. But introspection is not only about protecting the bond, but also about nurturing your own being: What about your dreams and your own potential for growth? What are you willing to adjust, limit, or let go of for your own good? What kind of relationship do you want, and what do you want for yourself?
 [](https://www.pexels.com/es-es/foto/manos-jugando-emocionante-moviendo-9785586/)
Puede ser difícil encontrar el balance tanto para tu individualidad como para la vida en pareja, por esa razón, la respuesta no es fácil de hallar. De hecho, encontrar tu propia respuesta puede implicar un camino demasiado doloroso o largo, con sus propios altibajos, propios de la vida humana. Negarse a buscarla puede ser algo que simplemente decidas aceptar, con la expectativa de que las cosas se arreglarán con el tiempo, por sí solas. Sin embargo, el balance no se limita solo a hallar la claridad mental o tomar una postura pasiva, sino a la voluntad de establecer un rumbo para esculpir tu propia huella en el tiempo; **¿Cuánto te aprecias y valoras realmente?**
No es una interrogante que requiera una respuesta inmediata, sino la posibilidad de que notes que, en tu propio devenir, empiezas a escuchar esa voz interior que, quizás, se ha ido apagando en el murmullo de la complacencia, reclamándote, dudando, vacilando, tanteando... Pero no deja de haber otra posibilidad: la de observar la libertad que se esfuma no por una imposición externa, sino por la inacción propia. Es descubrir que la autonomía no se pierde de golpe, sino en cada postergación, en la evasión, en el pretexto complaciente, hasta que, lentamente, se convierte en una voluntad dormida, esperando ser despertada.
lo que imaginamos para el vínculo puede estar muy lejos de la realidad de su devenir
>! [English version ]
>It can be difficult to find the balance between your individuality and your life as a couple, which is why the answer is not easy to find. In fact, finding your own answer can involve a painful or long journey, with its own ups and downs, typical of human life. Refusing to look for it may be something you simply decide to accept, with the expectation that things will work themselves out over time. However, balance is not limited to finding mental clarity or taking a passive stance, but rather to the willingness to set a course to carve your own mark in time; **How much do you really appreciate and value yourself?**
>It is not a question that requires an immediate answer, but rather the possibility that you will notice that, in your own becoming, you begin to hear that inner voice that, perhaps, has been drowned out by the murmur of complacency, calling out to you, doubting, hesitating, groping... But there is another possibility: that of observing freedom slipping away, not because of external impositions, but because of your own inaction. It is discovering that autonomy is not lost all at once, but with each postponement, each evasion, each complacent excuse, until, slowly, it becomes a dormant will, waiting to be awakened.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hgApejHV3Fg&list=RDhgApejHV3Fg&start_radio=1
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##### Text translated to english with [DeepL](https://www.deepl.com/translator)
>It is not a question that requires an immediate answer, but rather the possibility that you will notice that, in your own becoming, you begin to hear that inner voice that, perhaps, has been drowned out by the murmur of complacency, calling out to you, doubting, hesitating, groping... But there is another possibility: that of observing freedom slipping away, not because of external impositions, but because of your own inaction. It is discovering that autonomy is not lost all at once, but with each postponement, each evasion, each complacent excuse, until, slowly, it becomes a dormant will, waiting to be awakened.
We can change even in the most adverse scenarios
---Tom Sawyer - Flight To Another Galaxy
#spanish
#bienestar
#reflection
#life
#relationships
#autonomy
#love
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