IS THIS THE FINAL PIECE OF MY JIGSAW?

Is this the final piece of my jigsaw? I came into this world lonely and the only love I know is the love of my family. When I grew up, I always thought love is the most beautiful thing I can have until I fall in love and I see it as it want to destroy me. How? Imagine as a SS1 student falling in love with a girl with all your heart but she went around dating most of your close friend and I couldn't control it. It hurt me and make me to lose concentration on my studies. My next girlfriend after that was a revenge story which come to an end after 5years cos it doesn't work out cos I never really love her from the start and I hardly love other girls cos my heart is not opened towards them. I put in all the drive of love into my academics. Thou am not the best but believe me am not among the rest. I came into the university as a young awkward teenager that only plan on facing my studies squarely but that was when I met OLUWATAMILORE. I loved her but couldn't talk to her cos of two things which were: My fear of rejection and I feel inferior cos am just young and crazy that time. I hardly dress good to class. I always did night class upon night class bcos I want to have my crossing GP in first semester in which I did have. I lost her cos I don't have the effrontery and boldness to talk to her. After two years later, I met OLAMIDE a 100level student. Though she is not the most beautiful girl have ever seen but she is one of the most beautiful thing my heart felt was right for me. I love her with all my heart. The love I have for her is like the love I have for my mother. Its priceless and invaluably real. Its always hard for me to go by a day and never think about her. Have imagined so many things about it. I couldn't hide it cos I don't want to loss her. I want her to be the final piece of my jigsaw and am willing to sacrifice so many things to have her. But there is a but with her she already promised someone that she will date him after she is ready for relationship. Is this not a cross road? Thou I think its too early to tell her I love her but she asked me what I want and I told her but when will my love be reciprocated. Should I go all out war for her or I should just accept it as fate or destiny. Is the guy she is keeping waiting worth it? I need her happiness and I want my love life to be happy. Why am I in this mess cos of love? Why do I loss appetite nor sleep well cos am afraid I could lose her like the rest? What's this love that is driving me nut? Or am I really desperate to find love or Love is not meant for me? My Love life is in mess. When will I figure out the last piece of my jigsaw? When will I be happy?