It's Good, Not Bad
The subject is criticism. Some people loathe criticism, especially if it’s being directed at them. Criticism can be a really hard thing for some people to swallow, and any angry reaction, in my opinion, is likely to be due to either the criticized person’s insecurity and/or inflated ego, or the negative criticism is the product of malicious intent by the so-called “critic.”
Of course there are extremes. Some people will see any criticism directed at them as negative criticism. This means that a person with good intentions, trying to help a person overcome some hindrance the critic has noticed, and knows how to go about correcting, may be seen as hurtful, hateful or just mean, when they’re simply offering to help. Criticism often isn’t seen as beneficial; even when it is.
Since I’m writing this piece as my attempt to explain criticism - what it can do, and why we react to it in the ways that we do - I’ll just say up front that this post is not going to be based on research from studies that have been conducted on the subject. It’s mostly just going to be based on my opinion and observations of human nature I’ve picked up along the way.
I’m also willfully opening myself up to your criticisms on my views on this subject; any that you may have. There are no rules, so any actual criticism that’s positive, negative and anywhere in between is eligible for my consideration and consumption. If I’m questioned, I’ll comment. To begin, I’ll explain how I view criticism.
In my mind, criticism from others is a useful tool at my disposal. My mindset, (once I reached the point where I recognized that I have a mindset on this subject), is that, excluding the intentionally mean stuff which usually isn’t really criticism anyway, all criticism has value for use in the task of educating oneself. One of the ways recognition of value comes about is when we accept that the thought behind a criticism should be explored, rather than seeing it as an insult and then hastily disregarding it.
It’s a pretty sure bet that we’ve all seen situations when those who detest any criticism aimed at them, will sometimes insert their unrequested views into a discussion. They base their intrusion on their belief that they are aiding another person, possibly even a stranger, being unfairly criticized, (because all criticism is bad to them), when that’s not what’s going on at all.
Criticism is, above all else, a helpful learning tool; it’s also a helpful finishing tool.
It could be argued that criticism is a powerful factor in education itself. In school, when we took an exam, and then got our grade back, the grade could be seen as a criticism of how well we prepared for the test. And the criticism the grade provides, usually didn’t come as a surprise to us, for we probably had a pretty good idea of the outcome before we answered the first multiple choice question.
Think of the positive impact criticism has in sports. Great athletes become great at what they do because from the point in time when they begin their journey as kids, they are criticized. Often, that criticism is rude, brash and even insulting. However, its aim is to build character in the athlete, and to strengthen the attitude that nothing will get in the way of their success. It works. It’s obvious.
On one of the discord channels that I just recently joined, I offered what I fully intended to be a positive, supportive criticism of an open discussion going on there, on whether divisive subjects should continue to be discussed in general chat, or be moved to another channel, so those who wish to discuss them can, and those who don’t want to discuss those divisive subjects in general chat, won’t be forced to see those discussions there.
I felt that I should add my view because someone’s viewpoint was based on their desire that the discussions should stay on general chat because the server allows the presence of groups which may embrace ~~arguments~~ discussions of these divisive subjects to be represented as a group on the server. But this is actually an issue that’s found on just about every discussion site/forum out there on the internet.
Those who engage in these same discussions, on every site they occupy, plead for the divisive content to be broadcast on the main discussion channel rather than a separate channel. From my personal observations on such sites, this represents an obvious pattern in my mind.
Question: Why do those who desire discussing these divisive subjects, push for them to be discussed on the main channel everyone uses for chat, on every site or forum they are found?
Answer: In order to influence people to accept the ideas they are advocating. If the discussion is limited to a separate channel, then only those interested in the issues will show up there. That’s not exactly productive if your goal is to specifically increase division among the masses.
This suggests an agenda of some sort is also in play in the promotion of such discussions, beginning with the recruitment of new bodies. Again, this is my own personal perception that I observed on numerous chat forums; always covering these same subjects. Likewise, as I stated earlier, this is my personal opinion. I am not suggesting that my views are superior. I’m just stating them.
I was later pleased to find that, in this case, my comment was given credence as a worthy criticism and as a viable solution by the same person who had earlier advocated for not moving the discussion from the main chat channel. So, at second glance, this particular situation may be resolved in the best possible way.
It’s natural for us to want to defend and promote new goals and ideals, especially when we are super-motivated because of the great discovery we’re sure that we’ve fatefully stumbled upon. In such an excited, elevated mood, we are not likely to take criticism of our new moralist beliefs lightly. At that point, we’ve become foot soldiers for the cause we generally still know nothing about.
This illustrates how criticism can be used to mislead people, especially those people who are offended at every criticism aimed at them, and in turn, they can be driven to defend every person or “cause” that they observe facing criticism. They are easy prey, in other words. If there’s any bright spot in this situation, it may actually be that these folks will have to learn to accept criticism from those inside their new group.
To sum up what I’ve tried to suggest here, with my thoughts and observations on criticism, is that criticism is very helpful to those who will see its value in aiding their development in whatever task or skill they are pursuing. It’s always more fruitful to hear about where you’re messing up, and learn something, than to constantly be reminded you are perfection in motion.
It's Good, Not Bad © free-reign 2019
Top: Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay Center: Image by Manfred Antranias Zimmer from Pixabay Bottom: Image by OpenClipart-Vectors from Pixabay
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