I wonder how many of the home educators out there make it to high school, or survive home schooling highschoolers...
While I am brave enough to write this post, I am not quite willing to incur the wrath that might come with posting my teenagers' actual pictures in here as well! This is a photo from the teen lounge that we hosted in August 2021 at Get off the Grid, a Sustainability Festival. I had seen the boots sitting there and thought it would make a good photo. I am excited to have found a use for the shot.
As we all remember, the time of being a teenager means several things. It means that you know everything. It means that you are invincible. It means that you are angsty (correction per one of my teens ~ ANGRY) about everything. It means that you get upset because of everything, for absolutely no reason. Most importantly, it means that if it's the idea of one of those old people you live with, it must be a horrible idea.
Being a homeschool parent means you really get doses of these teen roller coasters in a whole different way than many parents. Having a close and loving relationship with them on top of that ~ well, that just means you are more acutely aware of the differences from that sweet child into this awkward phase before adulthood.
At this point, I currently have a 15 year old young man and a 14 year old young woman in my home. He is in 10th grade, and she is in 9th grade. Let's go a little more in depth into what this all means ~ at the risk of them killing me for this post, which would mean 1) they are actually reading what I write and 2) I won't have to worry about getting up tomorrow morning for bright and early attitude.
My son hates all things school work. Minimal efforts with self-defeating comments are the flavor of the year. Procrastination, avoidance, and attempts at convincing me he's not intelligent intermingle with the aroma of sweaty armpits and the sounds of random songs on repeat for hours. It might be any sound of the 1980's, it might be a sappy and sad romance song, or slit-your-wrists depressing music. He can't wait to get out of the house and doing things with the family are a chore. If it's a "stupid" idea, he relishes the thought (burn yourself with a flashlight for fun, anyone?) and if it involves logic, he might have fallen asleep before the sentence was finished.
Don't let this description fool you. Underneath this bristly exterior he's still full of hugs, and smiles without being able to help it, works hard for money when he gets the chance, and is an exemplary boy scout most days. Don't worry parents, if you did your work up to this point okay, those moral compasses are still intact, albeit covered in something sticky or smelly or gross at the moment...
The young men may have lost their ability to think clearly, but that's the easy part...
Let's get a peek at my 14 year old daughter. From the day she was born, she has been the model child. Intelligent, mature, kind, extremely talented, an overachiever on every level. She's been helpful and productive and the hardest part about being her mom has been listening to everyone who ever spends time with her go on, and on, and on about how great she is.
Hello, hormones.
Her current theme song is a long, loud sigh. Everything I have ever known and taught her is questioned (angrily of course), and with her well-ingrained critical thinking skills (that I worked so hard to make sure she has!) Mom has become front and center of "critical" thinking. She is convinced I had a dinosaur for a pet because I must be the oldest living human ever. Every idea to help with whatever is the problem of the minute is OBVIOUSLY the worst idea ever. While she is still the overachiever in schoolwork, she has come to the conclusion that every aspect of the known world of humans sucks horribly and my problem solver has now subscribed to the philosophy that there are no solutions in this life, only problems. Lest we forget, in the world of young ladies ~ all attempts to make something better are secretly attacks and should be treated as such!
If you are a home educator that has children under 10, enjoy every moment of that wide-eyed amazement, the pedestal you sometimes find yourself on in your child's eyes, the holding of hands and the understanding that you are a superhero who can fix any and all problems. It is these moments that you will remember fondly from the pits of teenage wasteland, that will be the wind in your sails on those blistering hot days with no breeze in sight.
If you are headed into the deep end of the pool, and find yourself wading through hormones at every turn, remember that laughter really is the best medicine. I like to regularly tell them "you're welcome!" for inventing the wheel and bringing fire to humans. I take lots of deep breaths and remember that we all survived being teens. While the flavors of the challenges are different for each generation, from their perspective it feels like the worst possible combination of world problems they could ever face. I hold steady, and keep offering support, and don't take it personal when the changelings that have replaced my children respond with sighs, grunts, despair, negativity, or some form of hexing incantation to manifest more strife and problems.
(spoiler alert: I also have a 22 year old daughter and 20 year old son, and I can assure you that the depths of teen angst (ITS ANGER MOM!!) will indeed pass, and you will not always be the butt of the old people jokes. When the humans you spawned make it across the abyss of teen hormones they will once again find solace in your love, wisdom in your counsel, and an appreciation for all of your efforts to keep the ship of fools afloat during their time at the helm!)
Thanks for reading! Please rememember,
