It's hard and thrusts straight upward, an imposing shaft that is admired, desired and much sought-after by so many...and yet so few shall ever attain it and revel in its glorious shafty erect hardness.
I didn't like school very much; it just went too slowly for me.
Primary school wasn't too bad I suppose, but high school went at a sail's pace - I mean the pace at which the teaching happened - and I often found myself feeling quite bored after having completed my tasks reasonably quickly...and then I tuned out completely.
I did pretty well at school mostly, got reasonable grades, but there was never any danger of me scoring at the top level for grades...except in three subjects at which I especially excelled!
I consistently scored A+ grades in three specific subjects
Physics, mathematics and chemistry...were not those three subjects.
Economics, geography and history...were also not those subjects.
No, those subjects were for the dum dums and I operated on a much higher level
The three subjects in which I excelled and scored the highest grades in were recess, lunch-time and home-time.
I consistently scored the triumvirate of A+ scores...an A+ in recess, an A+ in lunch-time and a fucken A+ at home-time for fucken years y'all!
That record stands to this day at that school - one of the city's most prestigious private schools - and there's a bronze statue of me erected in front of the school library (the library was also named after me) which sits at the end of a wide poplar-tree-lined boulevard that also bears my name to mark my scholastic deeds.
Beneath the statue is a plaque that reads:
This massively big and hard erection was slowly inserted to this location to commemorate the academic deeds of a paragon of learning and his dedication to the pursuit of educational excellence in the subjects of recess, lunch-time and home-time; a feat that shall never be replicated. Long may this erection stand prominently, and never shall it soften.
I know right? Powerful words.
You'll never attain such a hard and shafty erection, I'm certain of it however, although you may have attained educational excellence of your own and if so, or even if you're a dumb fuck but have a good story to tell, do so in the comments below. What were your best and worst subjects at school and why?