Yesterday, after a many month hiatus, I crafted a batch of cinnamon rolls.
Now, I suppose that could be viewed as no big deal, and some of you are like, where the heck are you going with this Kat? Honestly, right now, I am not even sure where this journey may end up at, but there is a glimmer of an idea here, so bear with me.
So many of my waking hours are filled with responsibility, with task-tending, soul-soothing, and on occasion, flintlock-kicking! Part of this semester's classes for me is a course on Self-Care, as people in the helping professions tend to burn out quickly and/or spectacularly. A lot of this burnout comes from neglecting the care and keeping of one's self, thus a course requirement on how to do so.
What I have found interesting is that many of the aspects of self-care that I am being taught I have already implemented in my life. Each person's self-care routine is going to be unique to them, yet in order to show up and do the good work we should be or are doing in this very broken world, one must be mindful of keeping their form properly cared for.
As many of you know, I am not exactly good at this. Or I should say was. For the past five weeks I have been showing up each morning and taking care of me as best I can so that I can continue to do the work I do without repeatedly falling out to internalized manifested illness. I mean, I know illness is still going to happen, but I have noticed that as I have been unearthing what is self-care for me and practicing it, that I am starting to have less flares.
This weekend was an example that provided a bit of proof about my practice as I went through a very traumatic helping scenario for most of Saturday night. Everyone was eventually okay, but the situation was heart-wrenching, and yet, through it all I was able to stay present, and most of all I didn't have a later bodily reaction that I almost always have when I go through something like that.
Which of course shows me, at least anecdotally, that I may be on the right track with all this self-care stuff.
And where do cinnamon rolls play into this? Well, baking for people I love is a form of self-care for me, and I haven't got a chance to make anything for anyone for a month or two. Spending three hours yesterday lovingly craft those caramelized swirls of dough for a person I adore made all the difference in the world for my ailing form. Because did I mention I am on my 9th day of being sick? Yep, my daughter gave me the cold that never ends. It's been fun!
But you know what, I feel different, and whether that's the walking meditation, or that I am finally letting go of my internalized narrative that I have to suffer just as much or more than the person I am sitting with is suffering, well, I don't know. I think I am just growing finally. Which is something I truly appreciate.
Almost as much as I appreciate cinnamon rolls.
And as most of the time, all of the images in this post were taken on the author's only gets to take pictures of cinnamon rolls, sadly, iPhone.
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