Right from the very first day that we are born, the sacrifices of our parents have started. In the country where I come from, especially in my culture, it is a very common thing I see where mothers will skip meals or even allow her kids to eat first or give a large portion of the meal to her child while she manages the small amount that is left, and the father also works day in and day out just to make sure that the kids are sent to a better school and to put food on the table. At some point, all these sacrifices made might end up resulting in a cultural debt. That is when you will hear something like, "We took care of you, so you must do the same for us." This has become a national anthem in some homes.
### It usually results in something like:
A lady has been forced to go into science class to study a science course and become a doctor all in the name of "that is what your mates are doing; that is where money is."
A young girl is pressured to marry so early all because her bride price has been paid for at an early age as a form of security that her parents see it as.
A young man who just started his life is sending half of his monthly salary back home even though he is finding it very difficult to stand on his feet.
Now, the question that usually comes to my mind when I see stuff like that is, those kids were busy playing in heaven with _Baba God, and did they choose to be born? The decision to bring them to this world was decided by their parents on the bed, so why tell them that they owe you and they must repay? I have seen situations where some old parents called their children useless all because that child is not replying to them. Or is showing care, love, respect, and gratitude without throwing away freedom not enough? These are the things that rushed down my mind after seeing this prompt and deciding to write on the real talk for the first time.
In my culture, you will see something like *"Ọmọ mí ní, ò gbu dó sanjò,"* the Yorùbá word meaning, "That is my child; he must definitely repay all that I've done for him." Yet, the truth of the matter is that words alone have crushed the lives of some young people. Some move around with guilty minds, with the thought that their parents will refer to them as an ungrateful child if they decide to go after their dreams and they neglect the one their parents want for them. While some have decided to do what is on their minds instead of doing what their parents want, those ones are regarded as selfish.
Perhaps what the Bible was trying to tell us when it said "honor thy parents" is do not forget yourself, do not forget your purpose, do not erase yourself, but when you have given to your parents, show them respect, but never forsake your future and forget that you also have a life to live. Showing our act of gratitude is saying that we express our love freely. It should not turn us into slaves. Or what do you think?
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Thank you for reading.
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