As parents, we sometimes do things unintentionally, not realizing how much of an impact they can have on our children later on.
The Story
A few days ago, I was at a friend’s house. Her kids were happily playing — the oldest was watching a movie on her laptop while the younger one was busy with block builders.
Halfway through our conversation, the children began shouting at each other. Their mom quickly went in to find out what was happening.
I overheard her scolding the oldest child for not allowing her younger brother to have his way, reminding her that she was supposed to be"the big sister".
Immediately, I noticed the look on the girl’s face. She was angry and upset, but more than that — there was resentment towards her brother. For the rest of my stay, she didn’t speak to him.
I gently called my friends attention to this and explained that always blaming the eldest for the younger one’s mistakes can create silent hatred. The oldest may begin to feel unloved and believe the parents prefer the younger child.
Asides feeding and schooling our kids, parenting is about taking care of them emotionally.
The lesson Never compare your children to one another. Every child is unique and they deserves to be appreciated for who they are. So don't compare. Love and admire them equally. Show them that each of them matters to you.Don’t put the weight of responsibility on the oldest child alone. Let every child be accountable for their own mistakes. Avoid showing favoritism. Nothing breaks a child’s heart more than feeling less loved than their sibling.
Children may not say much, but they see, feel, and remember everything. The way we treat them today builds the kind of relationship they will have with their siblings tomorrow.
Let's be intentional in parenting.
Thanks for reading. All pictures are mine.
Have you ever experienced or witnessed favoritism among siblings? How did it affect the relationships?