Hmmm! This time, @cautiva-30 really got me right on my neck. Reflecting on this given topic has really got me into very deep thinking. Wait a minute! What does it say again?!🤔
Let us be honest, my people: forgiveness is one sport that nobody trains for, but somehow we are all forced to participate in it. Whether you like it or not, life will give us the 100-metre dash of disappointment and a marathon of betrayal. The problem is, while the referees of morality shout "forgive and forget," our minds are seriously still busy replaying the event like Nollywood movie flashbacks—in slow motion, with dramatic music.
Now, to the first question: "Do I Always Have to Forgive? 🤔 If you asked me this question on a good day after eating fresh jollof rice with a well- creamed salad mixed with egg and diced beef, diluted with orange juice, I might smile sweetly and say, "Yes, forgiveness is healing." But catch me after someone has borrowed my money since 2017 and still posts vacation pictures in Dubai and streams various countries like it's no big deal—then, my answer will be a deep, slow, Capital "NO." The truth is, forgiveness is like drinking bitter leaf tea or agbo herbs: good for me, but not every time my throat is ready. Sometimes I need time to swallow the pain before I even start distributing mercy like free akara.
Now comes the second question: Why Forgive Someone Who Doesn't Deserve Forgiveness? Ah! 😲 That one is like clapping for the armed robber who just stole my television set, decoder, and the remote control along with it, for crying out loud. Actually, it doesn't make sense at first. But here's the beautiful secret — forgiveness is actually less of the other person and more about me dropping that heavy cement block from off my own chest. That block called resentment? It will only stop me from having a peaceful sleep, having a good laugh, reasoning well, enjoying a healthy chat, and even enjoying puff-puff and fried chicken. It will virtually stop me from everything good; that's the ugly truth about that guy "grudge" also known as "resentment." Therefore, forgiving someone unworthy is like deleting a virus from my phone: I know I am not doing it for the virus; however, I am doing it so my device (my heart) can breathe, live, and work healthily again. Most especially, I am actually forgiving for my own peace of mind and sanity.
Now this brings us to the final refective question: Should I Always Forgive Someone? 😔 Oh boy! This one is strong sha. Here's where it gets tricky. "Always" is a big word. Should I forgive the tailor who ruined my convention family attire that was supposed to be just perfect for that special occasion since is just a year-long program? Not to mention how expensive that fabric was?! Eventually, yes—but not because I have mourned my fabric and taken two days to recover emotionally. Should I really forgive my cousin brother who told my senior brother my very treasured secret before I actually had the chance to deny it? Again, yes — but perhaps from a safe distance, where future damage is impossible. Forgiveness does not mean reopening the same door for someone who walked in with muddy shoes.
So, my people, maybe forgiveness for me is not an instant action; it's a process—a gradual, one-step-at-a-time kind of healing for me. Sometimes, it's a very dramatic, tear-filled, chin-in-hand Nollywood process. But at the end of the day, whether they deserve it or not, forgiveness is the gift I have actually wrapped for me, myself, and I—even if I deliver it very, very late.
Here's my response to the @ladiesofhive LOH contest—#250.
Stay forgiving😂, stay optimistic🤞, stay healthy🥗, and keep sharing the love🧡🫶
My warm regards 🤗👋
THE IMAGE IS MINE
SEE YOU SOON👋😊